Fairy Friends

You know what was probably the last thing I needed--- another "something" on my to do list for the evening hours of each day. It seems as if there are always more and more things that are clamoring their way into the few fleeting moments that there are in the evening once the kids are in bed. But I fell victim to the cuteness of something called the "Little Fairy Door" for the girls for Christmas this year.  As we were just reveling in the elimination of the elf's antics each night, now there is something new for me to remember and plan for. And yet another reason to make a new Pinterest board where I can keep whole bunches of ideas that I steal from people who are far more creative than I am. 

Those little, tiny, adorable doors that you see are the magic portal through which fairies can enter your home.  And once you invite them in, all manner of magic can happen. The fairies can leave little miniature notes and sometimes even small treats for good little girls. 

Lauren and Mara absolutely love this. They have been leaving notes and pictures for their fairies and have been inclined to jump out of bed to see if something awaits them.  They both said they have always believed that fairies are real but now they have proof. I love the innocence and the imagination that they're enjoying if only for a little while. Before long, life and all of its heavy things will be theirs to bear. But not for now. For now they can dream of fairy wings flapping against their cheeks as they sleep, magic worlds that they can envision in their own little minds, places where tiny little fairies come to visit. 

Now...off to Pinterest to figure out what these fairies should think of next. 

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To put it mildly, it has been a pretty crummy birthday for Mara today.  I actually feel really badly, because I attributed her horrendous behavior and worse-than-usual stubbornness about finishing her supper last night to her trying to get her last little bit of being three and acting like a fool before the calendar page turned to January 5th.  As it turned out, I believe she was working her way into a nasty stomach bug, as evidenced by the fact that I was doing all of the laundry from her bedding at 11:00 last night and then scrambling to find enough extras to keep the both of us warm on the exceptionally cold night.  She was up most of the night throwing up and just feeling awful-- which meant that I was too.  She came downstairs this morning, selected her spot on the couch with her pillow and blanket, and asked for Disney Jr.  And then promptly fell back to sleep.  I found her on the same couch when I got home from work, napping again.  She perked up for a birthday present, and then seemed to start feeling better.  After a bath and some play time with a new Baby Alive doll she wanted for her birthday, she asked for a Nutri Grain bar and some orange juice before bed, and then was zonked in a matter of minutes when we went upstairs.  I feel terrible that she had such a yucky birthday...but I guess that's just how it goes sometimes. 

 

We talked a lot tonight about the night that she was born.  Mara always gets a kick out of hearing the story about how she surprised us by being born earlier than we had planned for her to come.  This is definitely a girl who enjoys calling the shots-- and I somehow suspect that it will be like that for the rest of our days.  She is the child who pushes me to my limits with her tenacity and her stubborn attitude and her sass and spunk.  But she is also the child who melts me when she cuddles in my lap, or gives me a kiss on the cheek, or asks to help me do whatever it is I am doing.  She is fire and she is sweetness all wrapped up into one complicated, complex, adorable little 34 pound package.  I do not know what life was like without her anymore.  And I wouldn't want to.  She has completed our family in a way that only she could. 

 

These last 4 years have been  so full of so much.  I am beyond grateful for the opportunity to love my daughter with my whole heart.

We're gonna party like it's (almost) her birthday!

 

We had the best time yesterday afternoon as we celebrated Mara's "pretend" birthday, as she informed everyone she saw during church yesterday morning.  I always feel a bit like Mara's birthday gets lost in the shuffle of the Christmas holiday.  It reminds me much about how I was feeling just before she was born--- rushed from Christmas and the cleaning up of all of it, and then like "Oh hey...let's get ready to welcome a human life into the world."  Her birthday always feels a bit like that, and it did this year too.  I was blessed with the New Year's holiday falling on Friday, though, since we had Friday and Saturday to get ready.  (Please don't think that means I wasn't rushing around like a fool at the last minute, because I surely was.)

 

Mara had requested a Peppa Pig party, so we did our best.  If you've never seen Peppa Pig, consider yourself lucky.  She is a little pig who speaks with a British accent and likes to jump in muddy puddles.  The theme song to her cartoon show is a little bit on the annoying side, and I promised Libby I would not have it playing on TV during the party.  Those few details were really all I had to work with.  So it wasn't our best theme job, but I don't think my "almost" 4 year old minded too much.  I was lucky to find some Peppa and George cake toppers because....how on earth would one make a Peppa Pig cake?  Even Pinterest failed me on that one with anything that looked doable and cute enough to make the effort worthwhile.  We had some coloring pages that I printed that the kids actually seemed to enjoy.  And we had some cute attempts at food that fit the theme--- pigs in a blanket, curly tail pasta salad, Muddy Puddle dirt pudding....get it?  And then there were lots of dips and snacks for the grownups and all manner of junk food for the kids.  The basket of cheese curls (somehow equated with party food in this house, I don't know how that happened, but don't even try to have a birthday party without them) was all but empty by the end of the afternoon.



 Mara received some really sweet gifts that we have already been enjoying.  She got a few new games and we love all of them!  Last evening after the party mess was cleaned up, we got our tubs and then got right to game playing until it was time for bed.  We LOVE the Shelby's Snack Shack game, and Brooke's new favorite called Blink will be a favorite here as well I am sure.  We even played a Shopkins inspired "Go Fish" variation called "Go Shopping".  I cannot recommend the line of board games enough that includes the Shelby's Snack Shack, Sneaky Snacky Squirrel, Frankie's Food Truck, and a few others.  They are absolutely perfect for smaller kids.  But all three of ours like to play them!  They're fast moving, non complicated, skill building games for things like colors and counting and shapes.  I love them and we seriously play them all the time.  (I will say, Josh isn't so interested in playing these, but he will for the sake of his sisters.)  Nana brought some Peppa blocks that I know will be a hit, and some new Doc McStuffins accessories for her pet vet station she got for Christmas.  Those were promptly removed from the packaging before the party was even over.

I failed in the photo department when it came to getting good pictures of all of the kids together.  But I had to include this one of Mara and Kinley.  Mara was SO over the moon excited about Kinley coming yesterday.  This tells me two things--- 1. I love that they adore each other.  And 2. We need to get these kiddos together more often.  I noticed it yesterday with Josh and Cooper playing well and enjoying each other too.  How blessed we are by these sweet friendships--- not only the kids, but the grown ups too.

 

We were missing the Dugan side of the family yesterday due to Grandma's cold and Aunt Sheri's store relocation, so that was a bummer.  But we had a wonderful day with family, and friends who are treasured like family.  All of these sweet people shared their last day of Christmas break with us--- when the to do lists were piled high with lunches to pack, backpacks to get ready, meals to prep for the week, laundry to fold and put away.  And the Lewistown bunch travelled an hour + on top of it all.  I know the sacrifice was not a small one, and I'm truly grateful for the sharing of this last precious day of peace to celebrate our not-so-little-anymore girl. 

 

I hope Mara felt the love that we all poured into this day for her.  By the looks on her face and the giggles that I heard, I think she did.  And for me, that's all that counts.

Ending the Year the Way It Began

I'm not sure whether I wrote about my goals for 2015 at the start of last year or not.  But I really had one goal.  I had decided to start a gratitude journal to write down at least 5 things that I was grateful for or 5 ways that I saw God working in my life. each day.  I had been doing a lot of learning about gratitude and awareness of God's presence and provision in our lives, 0and wanted to have a place where I could go to not only be intentional about recording it, but to be able to reflect on those days that I couldn't see it quite as clearly.  It was a wonderful exercise.  I wasn't perfect about writing it down every day, but I did find that I was so much more aware simply because I was looking for things to be thankful for. 

 

I mention this because I ended 2015 with not the happiest of days.  On Wednesday, December 30th, I was headed north on Route 15 to go to Walmart (we needed Drano for our downstairs sink, which I fear Mara had clogged by washing her Baby Alive food dishes in it) and to stop at Subway for a sandwich for lunch.  There was nothing out of the ordinary going on.  I reached down to grab a drink of water from my water bottle, and before I knew it, I looked up and realized that I was about to hit the car in front of me.  Traffic had stopped ahead of us, and just like that, there was nothing I could do.  I should note that, although there have been plenty of times that I have been distracted in the car while I'm driving, this was not one of those times.  I simply looked away for a split second.  But a split second was all it took.  The damage to the second vehicle was far worse-- and the glass that is everywhere in my picture is from that vehicle, whose back windshield had totally shattered.

 

 

I found it ironic that, although I'm the first person people call when these kinds of things happen to them in terms of my profession, it is still a pretty jarring thing to have happen to you.  I was horribly concerned about the woman and her passenger that I had hit.  Everyone seemed to be completely fine, but I just felt awful about the whole thing.  But here is where my mind quickly went to all the ways that God was providing even through something horrible that had happened.

 

• Wednesday was scheduled to be the day that I had Mara with me to get her hair cut.  But on Wednesday morning, our hairdresser had sent me a text to let me know that she wasn't feeling very well, and asked to reschedule.  Had this not happened, Mara would have been in the car with me.  And I would have been a wreck about that.
• Because of my profession, I was able to keep a really calm head about me and I knew just what to do.  We called the police right away, we had all of our information exchanged (she was also a State Farm customer, so I called her Agent and talked to them about what had happened), we even called State Farm claims from the scene of the accident to set up the claim so that she could get her vehicle repaired as quickly as possible.
• The woman who was driving the other car could not have been more gracious and forgiving.  She acted exactly the way you would HOPE you would act if your day had been totally ruined like hers had been.  She and her friend were visiting Lewisburg from Clearfield to do some antique shopping.  I kept asking her if she would let me help her to tape up her back windshield or call for a rental car for her, etc. but she insisted that they would be fine (in 30 degree weather) to take the car back home to Clearfield for repairs. In fact, she said they would still be going shopping some more, and now that she wasn't limited by her back windshield, she could buy some larger sized items to take with her.  She gave me a hug when she left, and told me to please not worry about any of this any more than I already had.  She had every right to be nasty with me--- to make me really feel bad about what I had done.  But she didn't.  She showed grace and mercy and that was such a gift.
• Since I had glass on the vehicle, I wanted to get it looked at right away, so I took the car to Swartz Collision just south of Lewisburg.  They are a shop that we probably deal with the most on customer claims and I never have any issues with them.  As soon as I pulled up, they got to work cleaning glass off of the car and looking at it to write the damage estimate.  When I asked how long it might be until we could schedule the repair, they said they were scheduling out till January 15th (ugh).  But shortly after that, they came out to tell me that they weren't comfortable with me driving the car for that long because the hood wouldn't close properly and there was a headlight that was broken.  And so, the Suburban was being admitted.  Before I could blink, they had Enterprise there with a rental for me, and had removed all of my car seats and installed them in the rental mini van for me.  And because my car is now considered a non driveable car, it just may bump me up a bit in terms of the priority of repairs.  Which means I might have it back sooner.  The rental car is brand new, and really nice, but I sure miss driving "my car".
• This is going to sound silly, but I have really started looking forward to the 5:00-5:30 half hour each day as I make my way home from the office.  I hardly ever listen to anything but Sirius XM radio anymore, and the Family Talk channel is my absolute favorite.  (I sometimes even listen to it online at the office.)  But at 5:00, there is a pastor by the name of Mike Fabarez, who delivers the most spot-on sermons I have ever heard.  He is a Bible teacher, and I really get a lot out of listening to him speak during that half hour, and I know God is using that time to teach me things that I need to know to be a better mother and wife and friend.  The thought of being without that time for the next possibly 3 weeks was the worst of this whole thing to me.  Imagine my surprise when I got into the rental car and found it tuned to Family Talk.  But then again, why was I surprised?

So, there were my 5 grateful points about December 30, 2015.

 

 

New Year's Eve was very quiet for us.  Let's face it, we're not really party animals in this house.  The kids wanted snacky foods for dinner, so we made some wings and stomboli for them, and I worked on cleaning up some leftovers in the fridge.  I had promised the kids that I would play a game with them, and so we played Head Bandz Act Up.  What a riot.  I only took a few pictures, but this was Lauren trying to get Mara to realize that she had a card on her head that said "zoo".  Made me laugh.  Lauren ended up winning that game.  I was pretty impressed with the ways that she came up with to act out the clues for the rest of us.  Let's just say she did a better job at it than I did.  (But give me a break-- the one I had to act out was "earthquake".  Just how would YOU do that?)  When we were done with that game, we played a new one of Mara's called Frankie's Food Truck.  All of the games like that are so perfect for that age group.  We had a great time.

 

And Lauren won again.  Lucky duck.

 

 

 

After the games were over, I figured my only slim chance of being able to stay awake to see the new year ushered in was to keep myself busy.  So I started working on taking down our Christmas decorations.  The kids started to de-ornament the tree while I gathered everything else that wasn't a snowman to get the house back into shape.  Undecorating is about 50% depressing, and 50% refreshing to me.  I love how the house looks with the lights and the decorations, but I also love getting rid of the clutter and having some space back in the living room.  I worked at that for the next few hours, and then found myself sitting on the couch with three sleepy kids who desperately wanted to make it to midnight.  About 11:15 they all gave up-- Mara asleep in my lap, Joshua begging to go to bed, and Lauren finally deciding that it would be OK to DVR the ball drop to watch it in the morning.  Jason was asleep on the chair after having been out to a car accident call.  And so, it was a very quiet, although productive New Year.  I'll share a few things I'm working on for 2016 in a post tomorrow.  I'm not one for huge resolutions and certainly not a long list of things, but there are definitely a few things I'd like to improve on in the new year.

Christmas--- Part III

After all of the excitement of Christmas Day had come and gone, we were so blessed that the other side of our family had offered to come to us this year to save us the run back to Lewistown for a second time.  To not have to worry about the kennel for Toby, and all of the packing and unpacking was a real gift.  We had planned a lasagna supper (not just any lasagna--- the Pioneer Woman's Supreme Pizza Lasagna...the be all and end all of lasagnas in my humble opinion).  So there was limited work that needed to be done to prep for everyone's arrival.  We had a few snacks and some other goodies around, but nothing too strenuous.  And I appreciated so much that no one was expecting anything too extreme.  All we wanted was some time together, and that we certainly delivered on.

 

As soon as the kids got here, all 5 of them disappeared to play together.  I absolutely love seeing them all together, and hearing them as they laugh.  There just is nothing like it.  Toby behaved himself, for the most part.  He only found himself in his crate when we opened presents because his penchant for eating wrapping paper and stealing things away from the kids was getting on our nerves.  This was the same issue we had with him on Christmas Day, so he was no stranger to the crate during present opening time.  Lucky for us, he doesn't seem to mind his crate, and doesn't make a fuss when he is in there.

 

I should note that the girls' faces in these pictures appear a bit....stained, shall we say.  Santa, in all of his wisdom, fulfilled a request for "real" makeup for Lauren.  And my girls had just finished a session of beautification when the troops arrived from Lewistown.  We attempted removal, but without makeup remover, that stuff is pretty stubborn, particularly when applied in a three inch thick layer (which appears to be their style at this point).  Heaven help me when they're 14 and wanting to wear it in public.

 

They were a little anxious for presents!

 

I think Josh might have the best story of the day with his gift.  He has been begging Santa for a real guitar and wanting to learn how to play it.  Mom and Dad, upon hearing about this, wanted to be the ones to get it for him.  And frankly, Dad's knowledge trumps Santa's on this by a long shot.  I was hesitant to take it off of Santa's list because I knew that it was his most special request, and I feared he would be heartbroken on Christmas morning to realize it wasn't there.  When he came downstairs that morning, the first thing he did was scan the boxes for something that might hold his guitar.  And when he didn't find it, he didn't act disappointed, but I knew he was.  Having had this game played on me quite a few times where Santa would "deliver" one of my most special requests across the street to my Gram and Pap's house, I knew the angst he would be feeling.  But I went along with the plan because I knew it would be something special for Josh and his Pap to share together. 

 

Josh was really struggling because each of the girls opened three presents.  And he had one box to open.  And it wasn't very big.  Add to this that he was starting to not feel well from some death of a cold that has plagued us both ever since this particular day, and I thought we were headed for disaster in the form of a 9 year old meltdown.  But he was a great sport and just kept laughing and saying "This doesn't seem very fair, you know!"  When he opened his one box, there was a paper inside telling him that we were going to play a game to find his gift.  And so a scavenger hunt commenced that had the kids running all around the house, up and down stairs from the bedrooms to the basement and then back upstairs again about 7 times before it led him to the garage where he found his...

...perfect, kid sized, good guitar.  He and Pap spent a half hour or so in his room learning the parts of the guitar and a few simple chords that he could work on until the next time they saw each other.  Pretty much every day since, he has spent some time in his room trying to get the chords down.  He's still working to master the right touch, but he isn't giving up.   We're going to work on a lesson for him after the beginning of the new year, and likely after his schedule with the school musical has died down.  Until then, he'll have to work on Pap's lessons and keep trying to figure things out on his own.  I have half a notion to learn along with him on the guitar that Mom and Dad got for me for my birthday ages ago that I couldn't ever quite seem to get a handle on.  Nothing about it came easily to me.  So I'm thinking maybe Josh can teach me what he learns and maybe we can practice together.

 

And so, this ends our Christmas adventures for 2015.  It was a great year and a very blessed Christmas season for us.  We had very happy kiddos, very happy gift recipients on both sides of our families despite all of my struggles to find the right things for everyone, and somehow everything managed to get done.  I finally gave up my fear of the rolling pin and learned how to make cut out sugar cookies (the big soft ones that I've always wanted to learn how to make), although icing them beautifully with royal icing wasn't exactly my gift.  I did finally figure out a trick to flood them with one color icing and then hit them with festive sprinkles before it hardened as a special treat for this party.  And that is how I believe I will be doing them from now on.  They certainly weren't the prettiest cookies you've ever seen, but they did disappear from the cookie tray before any of the others.  We cooked lots of yummy food and some new things that will absolutely make our Christmas rotation from now on--- especially the smoked salmon that we made for Christmas Day.  Wow.  Jason outdid himself on that.

 

To end the holiday, Josh and I both ended up sick, and spent nearly the entirety of the 27th on the couches.  I am pretty sure it was Lauren's virus that got us both, but my defenses were definitely down from a lack of sleep and too much stress and just being overloaded.  So it was no surprise.  Dad always said, "If you don't slow down, God's going to slow you down."  And He sure did.  I accomplished absolutely nothing on Sunday-- dinner was leftovers, no laundry done, no cleaning up done.  We just rested and napped and snuggled under the blankets.  And that was just fine with me.  I woke on Monday feeling much better.

Home for Christmas

The kids were my "helpers" at the office during the morning on Christmas Eve while the girls were off enjoying their day of preparations. We had a ball. We got Josh an Egg McMuffin and the girls a donut from Dunkin, and we enjoyed the morning together at the office. There were lots of blank Word documents created. Lots of shredded papers and lots of cups of water from the water cooler. But it was a hoot. 

The weather was so unseasonably warm that the kids went out to ride bikes in the afternoon after we got home while I did some cooking prep. We had roast beef for dinner and then got ready for church.  What to wear to Christmas Eve church in 70 degree weather was a real quandary...and the girls' Easter dresses were actually in the running until the last minute. 

Josh sang a solo during the service. We were so proud of him!  He handled a very packed church like a champ.  We had worked hard on learning it at home, but thankfully Miss Shirley was the accompanist for the service because, well...this piano player is rusty and wouldn't have handled the crowd with the grace that our 9 year old did. He absolutely made my Christmas with his song. It was called "A Shepherd's Heart" and was beautiful. 

When we returned from church, Clocky had made his return to the North Pole but had left some new Christmas pj's for the kids. I was grateful for this because somehow, outside of the realm of my OCD, the kids have begun crafting their own "pajamas" out of whatever they can find. Mostly I have been too tired to fight it. Pink fleece monkey print pj pants with a tie dye tshirt...sure. Football print lounge pants with a minecraft tshirt...why don't you just write my ticket to the funny farm right now. At least this way, thanks to Clocky's generosity, our Christmas pictures do not make it appear as though we are homeless or have no clue how to match. 

We set out our cookies for Santa and then hit the hay. Josh felt very strongly that I ensure that Jason didn't stay up late to make sure we would all be asleep when Santa arrived. 

And arrive, he did. 

Joshua woke me up at 0 dark thirty (aka 5 am) to go open presents. It may be unconventional and perhaps cruel, but I made him wait until I had gotten a shower to go downstairs. I find it unthinkable to wake any earlier than my 5:00 normal wake up time to get ready before the kids on Christmas. To add to his torture, the girls didn't wake up until after 7:00, so it was a painful

wait for him. 

The opening of the presents was done in a flash and then came the near panic attack about finding the living room floor again. We started putting toys together immediately and finding space for things in the playroom. This Mama likes things picked up and has little patience for clutter, even at Christmas.  Especially at Christmas. There is just so much stuff!

I loved watching the kids' faces as they opened things- not just the items they had asked for, but especially the ones that had been selected for them unsolicited. Mara loved her tea set and Lauren loved her makeup set. Both received immediate attention from them. 

I have no words. 

Josh has been asking for a bookshelf for his room for the better part of a year. And he was in love. He quickly set out to fill it up with his books. 

We welcomed Jason's family in the afternoon and had a wonderful time exchanging gifts with them. We had a great meal together and enjoyed a few slushes...what's Christmas without whiskey slush?  I can't answer that question because I don't want to know. 

To say our hearts were full was an understatement.  We are so blessed. So loved. And not just with earthly things. The idea that God put on skin, became one of us and humbled himself for someone like me is almost too much to comprehend. But I am so grateful for the opportunities I have had to reflect on that this Advent season. God has given me perspective when I most needed it. 

One more Christmas post to share from our Richard celebration from the 26th.  Maybe I will be able to keep this hot streak alive with another post tomorrow!

Christmas-- Part One

I'm really hoping to stay on top of Christmas posts and get them up before, say, Easter this year.  I know-- it's good to have goals.  Our Christmas celebrations began the weekend before the actual holiday with our annual Richard Family celebration at Stacie and Noah's house.  It was a wonderful day, full of lots of laugh, and lots of music, and lots of silliness.

 

You couldn't help but be laughing as soon as you walked in the door.  Stacie's idea to turn this into an ugly sweater party was a terrific one.  Not only did we all have a blast shopping for/or decorating our own ugly Christmas sweaters, we thoroughly enjoyed seeing what each other had on.  We had everything from Ralphie's bunny suit from "A Christmas Story" to Gizmo from the Gremlins, to ones that lit up and ones that were just too ugly to explain.  It was an absolute riot.  Never challenge a Richard to a contest involving creativity.

 

We ate way too much- but everyone had made such delicious things to share.  Abby and Scott took the prize for their smoked salmon which will now definitely be making a rotation into our entertaining menu.  It was so good! 

 

The kids had a wonderful time playing together-- in fact, we saw very little of them until a herd of them went running past on some sort of a spy mission, or to refill on fuel of cookies or snacks.  They really seemed to enjoy each other.  While I don't mean this to sound as it may, we were all grateful that the kids were old enough now to be able to play on their own a bit more, without needing us quite so much.  Not that we aren't all missing having babies at the parties, but there are certainly advantages to having older children who can fend for themselves a bit.

 

There was a chugging competition for the decision as to who would be the proud caretaker of the Queen Titihaha statue for the coming year.  The rules are that she has to have a prominent location in your home for the course of one year, and then must be passed on in some way to another family member.  When she passes from one to the other, there needs to be a story or a poem about her adventures for the year.  This year surely did not disappoint.  Noah and Stacie had written quite a story about her year in the Hollow, and we all laughed hysterically as Cory read it.  I can't wait to hear how she makes out in Perry County for the year with Cory and Shannon and the boys.

 

Just for something fun, we also set up a photo booth for everyone's enjoyment, and it turned into some great pictures that I think we'll all get a kick out of.

 

Here's the rest of the day in pictures for your enjoyment...I'm sure they don't capture all of the fun, but suffice it to say that it was a fantastic day spent with some of the most special people on the Earth, as far as I'm concerned.  I've always looked forward to the opportunity to spend time with my family, and as it gets harder and harder to get the whole crew together, it means even more to us when everyone prioritizes the time to be together.

 

This was the perfect start to a Christmas season that had left me feeling a bit out of the spirit of things.  And it was just what I needed!

 

The chugging contest, although none of them knew what they were trying to win.

 



Jason was such a good sport about the sweater contest-- and took it up quite a step with his Ralphie costume from "A Christmas Story".

I wish I could post the video of Dad and Uncle Butch's version of "White Christmas".  It was hysterical.  Both of them made this party so much fun this year.  And their sweaters were "top notch".

 

 

The straw that broke the camel's back.

The month of December has had me at its mercy since the puke in the car incident after Thanksgiving. A combination of too much going on in too many different directions, my role as mediator in affairs that I would have rather been left out of altogether, difficult situations at the office, and schedules for the kids that just won't relent--- it has all just been too much. Add to it the normal December hustle and bustle of activities, gift buying, decorating, and baking and I have just about been at my knees. Joy has been elusive...and peace, well, it hasn't been near. 

I have had a completely new understanding lately about how much of kids' celebrations and activities revolve around food. And until your kid is one who is limited in his ability to participate in such things, you never even have cause to notice it. Poor Joshua has been breaking my heart lately in his reactions to his food allergy limitations. In the past, he has been satisfied to have me bring an alternative for him that is safe. But over the past few weeks, he has been acutely aware of the fact that he is different. And it is breaking his heart...and mine right along with it. I am getting questions about why people have to always have food around and why it has to be so difficult. Why people always have to know he has a food allergy because he brings his own food everywhere we go?  Why it can't go away.

I have tried my best to answer all of those things the right way-- to tell him God makes no mistakes, so if he chose to give him a problem with peanuts, then there is a good reason for it. That there are so many other kids with issues far greater than his who are in hospitals or unable to go to school at all.  To be grateful for all of the things he can have and not focus on the one thing he cannot. But when push comes to shove, and you find yourself time and again having to say no to all of the things that your friends are doing, it just stinks. Sucks actually.

Just this week there have been 5 separate incidents requiring us to either pinch hit, make special arrangements or just decline attendance in something. A gingerbread house for school, a party at church, even our family Christmas party...all complicated. And that's only the tip of the iceberg. 3 of them happened today and I find myself really heavy hearted about it. I want to be able to fix it-- to do something that will help him-- but I find myself exhausted, out of time and stuck. And perhaps tonight I am feeling just a bit sad for my son.  So when the kennel told me tonight that they will not be flexible on the time we can pick Toby up on Monday morning-- I did what anyone would do when that last straw snaps.  I sat on the stage at Upward basketball practice and had a good cry. Never mind the 20 other people sitting around me. Never mind the chaos of the gym. It kind of matches the chaos in my head. 

Praying for the peace and joy that I know God promises us in this season to find its way to me. 

Things That Happened Over Thanksgiving

This post may resemble a disjointed list more than anything like a thoughtful journal entry. And I suppose that's what I get for being a little less than regular with my posts. But I will say that I am so grateful for the nice break we all had to celebrate Thanksgiving with our family. 

Celebrations started on Monday with Mara's party in Nursery School.  I am the class parent for her class, which truly meant nothing more than organizing a very short list of snack foods for their party and baking a batch of chocolate chip cookies because that is something the Pilgrims and indians clearly would have had at their feast. At the party we made hand print turkeys ans pilgrim hats and enjoyed everything you can remember about a preschool Thanksgiving party.  It was adorable and I loved the chance to get to know the other kids in the class and watch their teachers do their thing. 

Wednesday was the day of parties for the big(ger) kids, and we were lucky to have Daddy along for the fun. God bless his heart- he had no idea what the noise level or typical chaos rating was going to be for 15 kindergarteners and 23 3rd graders who were juiced up on a combination of carbohydrates, chocolate and anticipation of their break. I suggested Jason take an appetizer of Excedrin migraine before we got into school. All went well- including a major pinch hit for us in Josh's class where we needed to replicate chocolate fondue that was nut safe. It wasn't quite as cool as the other kids', but Josh rolled with the punches like he normally does. 

As soon as we got the green light to head out, all of us piled in the Suburban and pointed it toward Lewistown. The kids were thrilled to be going to stay over for a few nights. Toby was spending his first trip at the kennel. The kids wasted no time once we got there, and Mom's house went from tidy to a train wreck in under a half hour. There were games,tea parties, Nerf wars, puzzles and art projects for days. 

Our Thanksgiving dinner was delicious- as always.  And we all enjoyed the unseasonably warm weather and went for a walk after we cleaned up the kitchen. It was lovely!

Friday came too fast and soon it was time for us to head home. I had a goal of getting our tree up and trimmed before we had to retrieve our retriever at 5:00 pm. This plan likely would have turned out great if it hadn't been for Lauren's bout of car sickness as we pulled onto our street. I then spent an hour cleaning barf out of the car, while questioing my rationale for allowinf goldfish crackers to be the snack for the ride home. We tossed her car seat and all of its vomit soaked nooked and crannies. Then, we were challenged by a pre-lit tree that was no longer lighting, which required us to unwrap all 8 trillion lights from the tree. It wasn't a "ho ho ho" moment, let's just say.  By some small miracle, we ended up getting the tree done with 15 minutes to spare before taking off to get Toby. 

I think it is safe to say that the kids were theilled to have him back home. 

Saturday was a special day for Lauren because her Daddy had decided to take her to see the Nutcrackerin Williamsport. We got her all dresed up, did her nails ans curled her hair for the occasion. It was precious. 

And just because we didn't have enough going on, we had a mattress delivered for Mara on Saturday to move her into a big girl bed. She was so excited. 

It was a full weekend, no doubt about it.