Bear

I caught a few pictures of Joshua and Bear the other morning that I thought were cute and might mean something to Joshua someday. I can't really even explain the love he has for Bear. He often proclaims that Bear is his best buddy. He was given to us as a gift when Joshua was born. He had been made by someone at the Bloomsburg Fair, and a fellow State Farm agent sent him to me as a baby present. You might recall that this is the same Bear that we lost at the mall one time and recovered by the grace of God the following morning after he had been discovered by the cleaning crew in the Bon Ton. We were sure he was a goner...and I was devastated. He has been stepped on, had a bike ridden over him, been forgotten, puked on, washed, dried and stitched back together more times that I can count. He's showing some wear and some dirt for sure, but I call that the love of a 2 year old little boy. I think I look that way too, sometimes, after Joshua gets done with me.

I think my Dad was right when he suggested that Bear might need to be immortalized in some kind of a frame when Joshua outgrows his friend for something else, although I can't see that day coming any time soon. But Bear is a pretty significant memory in Joshua's life- ever since he was just a few months old and could hold onto things. For Joshua, he's a friend. For me, he's a symbol of these years that I try with all of my might to etch into my memory. I don't want to forget a thing....which is why I write some of the things down that I do on this blog and in letters to Joshua that someday he'll maybe want to read. It just goes by so fast. It may seem insignificant to some, but I think that all of us who are moms get it. There's nothing insignificant about anything, is there?

I wonder what, or even if, our baby girl will grow attached to anything once we get to meet her? I had a doll named Victoria who was far too nice of a doll (my grandparents got her for me) to be played with and "loved" as hard as I loved her. As I recall she ended up in my parents' attic with a half melted face from the summer heat in the attic on Edgewood Place, and only one fully attached arm after I carried her around by only one of her limbs at any one time. But I loved her....about the same way Joshua loves Bear.

I guess we'll have to see about our daughter and who she chooses as her most special friend. But wrap your mind around this for a second...... Eight weeks from right now, I'll likely be resting from surgery and holding her in my arms. Can you believe that? I can't. But goodness am I getting excited.

So is this little guy. Every day when I get home from work, he asks me if I got his baby sister out of my tummy today. Pretty soon, buddy. Pretty soon.