Too Long!

I have a camera full of cuteness to share, but it doesn't appear that either of my computers are going to allow me to do that this morning.  They're uploading in technicolor-- and not in a good way.  So until I figure out the cause of that little surprise, I guess we'll be pictureless.

We have had a great week around here.  As we're getting more and more comfortable with navigating our larger family, I can honestly say we are beginning to settle in to a bit of a groove.  I am not so confident as to suggest that we still aren't a hot mess from time to time, but I have surprised myself at how often we aren't.  Unfortunately for me, the messy times usually tend to be when there are witnesses, which is unfortunate, but I accept the reality of our life at this point.  The funniest "messy" story came early last week when someone from our church had called to tell us that she would be bringing supper for us that evening, but that she would be coming around 4:00.  It was one of those days that I had no schedule pushing my "getting ready" time in the morning, and as one thing led to another, I found myself just getting my hair done and putting on my makeup around 2.  The big kids were a disaster- running all over the place in costumes, Lauren naked for most of the afternoon.  I was sitting on the couch with one of my eyes mostly done and still in my sweats when a naked Lauren came running to tell me there was a car in the driveway.  And so, our church meal deliverer got the distinct pleasure of seeing my scantily clad 2 year old and my half done makeup.  I'm pretty sure she prayed for me all the way home and probably thought, "Oh Lord, please help that poor girl.  She is a mess."  And on that day, I was.  We were.  Some days, it's quite the opposite.

I had some cute pictures of a little Batman parade we had at our house last week when the Casners came for a visit.  Ridge and Lauren shared the costume- Ridge had the mask while Lauren donned the rest of the getup.  They were so cute.  With only a little more than 2 weeks age difference between them, I love to watch them play.  Mara quite enjoyed their visit- sleeping through the entirety of it while Cory and Shannon held her.  I think she really liked them!

This past weekend we braved our first ever trip to Target with all 3 children.  All things considered, I'd say we did great.  Mara slept (surprise surprise) and Joshua and Lauren both walked right beside the cart with only minimal reminder that they had to stay right with me.  We managed to get our whole list (minus a lightbulb, but I was in the checkout when I remembered that and I promise you I wasn't about to go back in the store at  that point).  This trip had two purposes- most importantly, to give Daddy some quiet study time at the house, but also to prove to myself that I really could manage the three of them without total chaos.  I was relieved to have that maiden voyage under my belt.

Sunday was a fun day for the kids and I.  Daddy needed some serious cram time for his exam on Monday morning, so he had  planned an overnight in Harrisburg for Sunday night.  After church, he took off for cram-ville, while we settled in here for our first alone overnight.  I was nervous.  We passed the time in the afternoon with a special visit with Aunt Libby and Brooke, and a quick pass through from Nana and Pap.  It was loud, crazy, giggly and super fun.  We were lucky because they were able to stay through supper time, so we enjoyed all the time we had to play with them.  Brooke continues to be smitten with Mara and is such a great cousin to her.  She loved holding her and talking to her.  It was so sweet to watch.  We tackled the solo night time routine and managed pretty well.  The big kids were good helpers and went to bed without a fight.  Mara, on the other hand, in her newest phase, has decided that 12 am- 1 am is an appropriate bed time for a 3 week old.  She cluster nurses from about 6:30-11:00 wanting to eat about every hour for at least a half hour.  (This complicates the bath/story/pajama routine with Joshua and Lauren for sure.)  And then she is wide awake from 11-1 when she finally gives in to my tight swaddle and dark room and closes her eyes.  The good news is that once she goes to sleep, she has been sleeping soundly for 4-5 hours.  So now we just have to work on getting that bed time worked out.  Mommy needs a little more than 3-4 hours of sleep a night.

Monday morning was our biggest challenge yet.  Getting out the door on time has been difficult.  Let's just say my Business Logistics class at PSU comes in handy- not for moving freight from point A to point B, but figuring out the timing and all potential obstacles to getting out the door.  Since Daddy was away, it was my job to do preschool drop off for Josh at 8:00. We needed to leave by 7:40. Luckily, it was an office work day for me, so Grandma was here to stay with Lauren.  By the grace of God, Mara's feedings were timed right and we were out the door at 7:44, and pulled in to Meadowbrook at 7:56.  I felt as though I had climbed Mt. Everest after having been up since 4 am when Mara woke to eat until 5, which is shower time for me.  But everything got done.  I may or may not have been struggling to keep my eyes open on the couch at 9:00, but something has to give I guess.

This is a busy week, and I hope to straighten out this picture situation. Trust me- the kids are as cute as ever!

What's been going on around here...

Here's a quick photo recap of the last couple of days.  It hasn't been overly interesting, but I am pleased to report that we're holding our own.  There have been no major meltdowns (on any of our parts), and I consider that quite an accomplishment.

 Daddy's idea of getting a Kinect system to keep everyone occupied on these cold, dreary, wet winter days has been a very good one.  Santa thought about bringing this for Joshua for Christmas, but until we saw how much he loved his Nintendo DS and how he is starting to get a grasp on the whole hand-eye coordination thing, we weren't sure if he was ready.  The kids love to play the sports games (especially bowling and boxing), but their favorite part is when they get to make the characters dance after doing something good.  So when Jason came home with the Nickelodeon dancing game the other night, we knew it would be a hit.  And boy, was it ever!  The kids were hysterical.  And, for the record, Joshua has some moves!  We're thinking this is Libby's genetic contribution because he surely doesn't get it from either of us. 

On Thursday, I got my driver's license back at the two week post surgery mark.  And Mara and I didn't waste any time getting OUT of the house!  I needed some time in the office to get things re-organized after our quick exit on the night of the 5th. We also had a list of stops to make- gas in the van, checks to the bank, stuff to pick up at the accountant's office, groceries at Walmart.  It was a jam packed day, but oh so nice to be out and about.  To make matters more complicated, my easy, breastmilk by bottle baby who goes 3-3.5 hours between feedings decided she wanted to go a more conventional route on Thursday morning and nursed like a champ before we left.  So, that changed the whole routine, although I was pleased at her progress and happy to ditch the pump for the day.  We made it back home around 4:00 with mostly all of our list accomplished.  What amazed me was how much I had missed Joshua and Lauren while we were gone.  And I quickly remembered how much I hate the re-adjustment back to work after being home with them so much.  Although they make me crazy sometimes, I count it such a blessing to have the flexibility to have this time with them at home.  That is due mostly to my team at the office and how wonderful they are.  And don't think that I take a moment of it for granted.

 Lauren and I have been enjoying our "girl time" in the mornings while Joshua is at school.  She is such a sweetheart, and continues to love her sister to the max.  We spent a lot of time this week reading books, putting together the same three puzzles that she absolutely loves (note to self, for sanity sake, get to Target and find some more of those!) and playing games like "I Spy" and Hide and Seek.  She has been an excellent bath helper with the baby and a very big laundry helper.  We've had great conversations and I'm absolutely cherishing the time to spend with her one on one while the baby is sleeping as much as she is.

 This beauty continues to melt my heart a little more each day.  The falling in love has been extra special this time, with a super sweet baby who makes it oh so easy.  All of the worries I have had (and trust me that there have been multiple freak out sessions over the past 42 weeks) about whether or not I could handle being a mother to three children, and how we could possibly find a balance in our little world here where everything managed somehow to get done, and what adding a third child to our family would do to Joshua and Lauren have turned out to have been a silly waste of time....but isn't most worrying?  In the midst of these little hissy fits I've had, people always said that we wouldn't remember what it was like without Mara here once she got here, and that she would complete the picture for us naturally.  And they were all right.  We are so very blessed.

And since all of my posts seem to include some sort of nudity, check out what I found yesterday afternoon when I finished folding a load of laundry.  Batman on the DS and a just-about naked Lauren playing on my iPhone.  Lauren had updumped an entire smoothie all over the kitchen floor, in her hair and on her clothes and smelled distinctively like a strawberry until bathtime last night.  I did finally convince her to put on some clothes before supper, but she would have been perfectly content to sport just her Dora underpants.  Batman turned back into Joshua at suppertime too.  Which was good because I was a little intimidated about sharing the dinner table with a Superhero of Batman's caliber.

We're tucked in for the day today, although wishing that Daddy didn't have to run out this morning for a funeral.  As the first real winter snow falls outside, I am so grateful for the good weather we have had recently and for the fact that we brought our winter baby home from the hospital on a 55 degree day instead of one like this.  There is probably 4-5 inches on the deck now with a few more hours of steady snowfall expected.  Josh and Daddy have a special evening planned tonight with Earl and Cooper to go to the Bucknell basketball game.  I'm excited for them to have something special to do together- just the guys.  Joshua has been sure to point out lots of times that there are no girls allowed.  I'm not so sure that's going to fly with Lauren when it comes time for them to leave, but we'll see.

Getting into the groove...

So the kids and I are on day number two of our solo flight during the day since Jason headed back to work on Tuesday morning.  Grandma has been helping with getting Joshua picked up from school until I get my driving privileges back (tomorrow, yay!) and that has been a huge help.  I will say, though, that today has been a marked improvement from yesterday.  Yesterday, although I was up and showered before Joshua left for school, my hair remained undone and I never quite got around to putting any makeup on.  Honestly by the time I had time to do it amidst the other list of things that needed to be done, I figured there wasn't much use.  I'd just be washing it off in a few hours.  And that stuff isn't cheap.  (How's that for rationale?)  Mara was in her pajamas until approximately 2:00 when I was finally able to get her cleaned up and free of the previous night's spit up.  We did manage a hot dinner on the table last night, as well as all beds made, three loads of laundry that had piled up in our bedroom put away, and a new load washed.

Today, though, we're settling into our groove.  I made it up, was showered, dressed, hair and makeup done before Joshua left for school at 7:40.  The girls and I hung out here this morning, reading books, doing puzzles, drinking milk or coffee, getting cute and cleaned up and even started some more laundry and did some cleaning up/organizing around the house.  By the time Joshua was home from school, I had most of my list accomplished and had breathing room for the rest of the day.  We were blessed by a meal dropped off by Emily that is going to be seriously yummy!  The kids have been good- playing all afternoon together with very few spats.  And Mara....sweet, sweet Mara....she continues to do what she has done since she was born, eat, sleep, smile and cuddle, and then repeat the whole cycle all over again.

I have been so blessed with phone calls and visits today from people who have been checking in on us, wondering how we're doing and showing love to us.  It has been good for my spirit to have a few adult conversations with people I admire and respect for their opinions, and who have been such a great support.  So thank you to everyone who has helped to celebrate Mara's arrival with your time, your thoughts, your prayers, your calls and your visits.  We appreciate them so very much.

I also promised I'd report on Mara's trip to the pediatrician on Monday at 11 days old for her goopy, yellow, glued shut eye.  As it turns out, she has a blocked tear duct (A+ on your diagnosis, Emily!).  We were prescribed some drops to clear up the infection that she had and they have worked wonders.  Apparently this is likey to rear its ugly head again and again over the next few months, so we'll keep the drops on hand.  Evidently these usually resolve on their own by 6-8 months, and if not, we'll be referred to an opthamologist for a surgical procedure to open it up for her.  I choose not to think much about that until we absolutely have to.  Another worry for another day.  The good news was that, even though we were short of two weeks by a few days, they did her 2 week appointment for us.  She was exactly back to her birth weight at 6 lb 10 oz and was still 20" long.  After the big weight loss she had, getting her back to her birth weight by 2 weeks was a major win.  All signs of jaundice were gone and evidently our hybrid feeding model is going OK.  (I rue the day I suggested that I was going to try the "hybrid" model this time--- Joshua had been a formula baby, Lauren a very serious nurser.)  But regardless, all that matters is that we got the opinion that Mara appears to be perfect (which we knew) and super sweet (which we knew).

 This was Joshua and Lauren's fort this afternoon.  They told me they were taking a trip to Nana and Pap's by boat and needed marshmallows for food.  They were happy and playing nicely, so if they needed some sugar to keep things that way, I'm totally cool with that.

 Lauren continues to be absolutely smitten with her baby sister.  She refers to her as "pretty girl" (a definite take away from me).  Any concerns I had about how Lauren would adjust to life as a big sister was a total waste of energy (at least so far).  Every bit of sweetness and tenderness in her personality has been poured on to Mara.  It absolutely warms my heart to see the two of them together, knowing what a special gift a sister is.  I'm not so naive to think that this isn't going to turn ugly at some point-- after all, I did live through most of the 80's and early 90's with my own sister, and definitely recall some periods of...shall we say....tension among us.  But for now, I'm loving how this is working out so far.

And really, how much cuter can she get?  I am so in love.

My last "lazy" day.

Life has been pretty good around here for the past week and a half.  With Jason home from work all of last week and today for the market holiday, we've managed to get into a groove here.  Just in time for him to return to work tomorrow and allow us an opportunity to do it again.  There has been a whole lot of play time for Joshua and Lauren with their Daddy- including some DS time for Joshua and the purchase of a new Kinect system that we all quite enjoyed this weekend.  (I'm pretty sure that playing beach volleyball with Joshua wasn't on my post-op instructions from Dr. Miller....especially not the jumping that I was doing to spike the ball...but it was fun anyway.)  I'm only glad that we didn't have this when I was still so sore- because the way we were all laughing at each other would have hurt BIG TIME!

So today I'm enjoying my last day with Daddy home.  It's the last day for a very long time that I won't have to rush to beat the roosters awake and out of the shower in the morning to get Joshua ready for school on a set schedule, as well as work in feedings and pumping and Lauren's needs.  So today, I slept in until 6:45...a luxury I won't see for a while after today.  It was 9:30 until I got in the shower.  Won't be able to do that for a while either.  But today I could, and I did.  And it was wonderful.

The last few days have been so great.  On Friday night, the Mowry's did all of our spirits some good and came to join us for supper.  The kids were so excited to see their kids that it was as if they had been cooped up without any human contact their entire lives.  When they saw their car driving up the street from the kitchen window, they squealed and ran to the door to let them in.  They treated us to a very yummy dinner that everyone loved, as well as the company that we all needed.  I remember packing up a meal to drop off at their house after Kinley's arrival and I thought Emily was nuts for asking me to bring the whole clan along for a change of scenery for their crew.  And I didn't totally understand her reasoning until this past Friday when I nearly begged her to do the same for us.  We are not a family who stays inside for a week plus, and although we've really enjoyed being home as a family, it was really nice to have them here.

 At one point while we were cleaning up after supper, I looked into the living room to see all six......SIX......of our collective chlidren playing.  And I think it was at that point that I realized that we all of a sudden have a mess of children between our two families.  But what a good looking crew they are.  McKenna declared that Mara was like a little baby doll, and even though her own baby sister was as tiny as Mara just a few short months ago, McKenna proved the theory that you really do forget how tiny they are even though you try your hardest not to.  She was an excellent baby holder!

And here's one of just the girls.  So sweet.  Lauren insisted on holding Kinley.  Luckily, Kinley didn't put up too much of a fight.

Saturday brought a visit from Grandma and Grandpa that we all really enjoyed.  Although Grandma gets lots of time with the kids during the week, Grandpa doesn't have the same advantage and enjoyed some snuggle time with Mara.  She was looking smashing in her "Mara" gown.  Wish my picture would have shown the embroidery a little better.

Sunday morning was exciting, because we got everyone up and out the door in time to go to church.  I was so excited to get back after having missed last week for obvious reasons.  It was good for the kids to keep their routine as normal as possible, and really, the sooner we figure out how to get out of the house as a five-some, the better.  It's not like we're going to be letting any grass grow under our feet as a normal rule.  Mara did awesome during church.  In fact, she didn't even open her eyes the whole time, and I managed to get her a bottle during the service so we didn't even have the interruption of heading to the nursery mid stream.  It was great to be there and introduce Mara to so many people who had prayed for her during our pregnancy.  What a special church family we belong to.

After church, Nana and Pap came for a visit and got some play time in with the big kids and some cuddling time in with the baby.  Pap won the prize because he managed (somehow) to get Lauren to sleep.  She was snoring in his arms while Joshua was demonstrating the Kinect, and took a monster nap that was desperately needed.  Joshua loved having some visiting time with them, and I think Mara and the rest of us did too. 

Just for comic relief, here was my view of Lauren the other morning when I turned around from my laptop.  No pants.

And here's my newest favorite picture of the littlest one.  Sweet as can be.  On tap for today, unfortunately, is her first trip to the pediatrician, a few days early because she seems to have developed an eye problem over the last day or so.  She has a very yellow, goopy eye that needs to be looked at.  And since we're so close to her 2 week checkup originally scheduled for Thursday, they decided they could do that today as well.  So we'll see how we make out.

Sorry for the loaded, disjointed post, but at least you're up to date and have some cute pictures to enjoy.  More to come!

Feeling back to "normal"...

Even though last week's surgery was officially my third c-section, I am continually amazed by the fact that you can be literally sawed in half and within one week feel as though nothing ever happened.  Recovery has been just as smooth this time as it was the last two, helped along by resting and Advil and trying to listen to my discharge instructions.  Although Jason will tell you I've been sliding a little bit on the "following orders" thing in the last two days.  The idea of not lifting anything heavier than the baby is a little impractical, in my opinion, so I have on a few occasions lifted Lauren into or out of her high chair and have carried a laundry basket of the kids' clothes downstairs.  My rule is that if it hurts, I stop.  So far so good.

Today was really the first day that I would say I feel "good"-- but each day since Thursday has gotten progressively better in just about every way.  Saturday was rough-- ask my Mom and Jason how long it took me to get up off of the couch on Saturday afternoon after we got home from the hospital.  But each day since has been better and better.  Now if I could only get the OK to drive sooner than next Thursday...

Today was a good day.  We managed to get laundry done and finally put away upstairs.  I finally got the pile of hospital stuff put away and in its rightful spot in Mara's room.  We made a meal plan and a grocery list, and Jason (bless his heart) braved Walmart to search for all sorts of things, and did so with a very good spirit.  Have I mentioned how wonderful he has been through the past week's events?  I even celebrated not being gestational diabetic anymore by baking a homemade banana bread for the kids at their request, as well as the pan of Rice Krispie Treats that I was scheduled to make last Thursday night for Joshua to take to school for a friend's birthday treat.  We cooked a real dinner, cleaned it up and now are settled in for the evening, trying to gain our strength for the bathtime, pajama, snacks and bedtime marathon.

Mara's eating is still a challenge.  She will not nurse for anything--- and trust me when I say I have tried quite literally everything.  Even the lactation consultant is stumped.  Mara is so much like Joshua was.  The only difference is that I am much calmer and more experienced now, and although I continue to pump for her, I have supplemented with formula feedings and will continue to do so until she either decides that she remembers how to nurse or my supply goes to the point that pumping is a moot point.  Her jaundice is clearing, thank goodness, so I know we've done what we needed to do for the sake of her health, and honestly, that's all that matters to me.  Am I disappointed that we're struggling-- I can't even begin to tell you how I feel about it.  But as a wise friend told me, maybe Mara is writing her own story here.  It remains to be seen, but I do feel as though I've done all I can do and now the rest is up to her and our teamwork together.  Regardless, we'll move forward with whatever happens and make the best of it.

We are looking very forward to a visit from Aunt Libby tomorrow.  Joshua is beside himself at the idea that she might be able to be along when he gets picked up from school.  Secretly I'm thrilled at the idea of getting out of the house, even if it is for the 10 mile trip to Meadowbrook and back.

Enough of the ramblings for now... On to the pictures!

 This was Mara's position while I worked in the kitchen this afternoon.  Believe it or not, she's so good that I actually have to remind myself that she's there!

  And below is what the others were doing--- dressing up as "superheroes" and fighting crime all over the house.  They played so nicely (most of the time).  The living room was a total disaster, but cleaning it up was totally worth it for the fun that they had together.  They have been such great kids as we have transitioned into life with the new baby.  I could not be more proud of them both.



Two posts in a row is almost a miracle for me lately.  Let's see what tomorrow brings!

Introducing...Mara Kate!

The way I was figuring it, today would have warranted a post in anticipation of Mara's scheduled birthday party early tomorrow morning.  But as it turns out, I got a quick lesson in who is in charge...and if I can just cut to the chase, it isn't me. 

Last Thursday afternoon, I headed to my normal doctor's appointment and prepared for the usual non stress test and uneventful report about how I wasn't anywhere close to being in labor.  It was really OK.  If I had imposed any deadlines on this baby, it was to get here before the clock struck midnight on Dec 31st- for the purposes of health insurance deductibles and tax deductions.  And once that deadline came and went, I was really OK with waiting until the 11th.  In our normal chit chat before my appointment really got going, I mentioned to Dr. Miller that I was pretty proud of myself- because even with a little cheating over the New Year's holiday, my blood sugar numbers were surprisingly good.  I knew immediately I had been a bit too free with my bragging, as he said that could actually be a sign of a problem with my placenta.  So he sent me to the hospital for a stat ultrasound to check on the a baby and get a good look at what might be going on.  Being that this isn't my first rodeo, I was even so bold as to call Jason on the way back upstairs while carrying my report, to tell him that I was pretty sure we were OK since we had an 8 out of a possible 8 on the biophysical profile.  A good nonstress test added two more to give us the same 10/10 we had seen a few weeks earlier.  However, Dr. Miller had also placed a call to the lab and was told by the technician that my placenta was a hard grade 3, meaning aging and beyond the condition it ought to be in for 39 weeks.  And so, he asked us what plans we had for the evening.  And before I knew it, I was on my way home to pack the remainder of my hospital bag and say goodbye to the kids.  We were delivering between 8-8:30, as soon as the anesthesia team would allow me to have my spinal after having had my snack of an apple with some peanut butter around 2:30.

It all happened so fast, really, that I didn't have time for what was likely to have been a whole lot of worrying about what could happen.  Instead, before we knew it, they were wheeling me back to the OR on the labor and delivery floor (never knew there was one of those up there!) and I was being prepped for surgery.  We had a terrific anesthesia team who delivered the best spinal I've experienced.  In stark contrast to Lauren's delivery where I was on the edge of screaming "timies" the whole time because I was close to being able to feel what was happening.  As it turned out, as soon as my spinal was placed and they spun me around to lay me down on the operating table, my water broke.  Dr. Miller exclaimed, "Well, what do you know about that?" and then indicated that maybe it was a sign that we were meant to be there that night anyway.

Our sweet baby girl made her entrance into the world at exactly 9:00 pm.  She was 6 lb 10 oz and 20" long.  At first glance (and keep in mind that I was laying down with a plethora of drugs in my system) I wasn't sure there was a resemblance between her and the other kids, but that quickly changed when I sat up and actually looked at her.  She is an almost identical copy of Joshua and Lauren, but most especially Lauren.  If we aren't careful to mark baby pictures, I'm not sure we'll really know who is who in a few years when I forget who wore which outfit or sat in which bouncy seat.  Because of the late night surprise delivery, I didn't have to go to the recovery room like I normally would have on our 7:00 am delivery time, so as soon as they were done with me in the OR, I was taken directly back to my room on the post partum floor, where Jason, our nurses and baby Mara were waiting for me.  I got to hold her and nurse her right away, something I never got to do with the others, and I loved it.  I even got to watch her first bath and be a part of all of the stuff that I have missed in the past while I was waiting to feel my feet again.

Perhaps my favorite moment in Mara's delivery story came the next morning when Jason brought the kids to the hospital to meet their baby sister.  They were so smitten with her- loving her and smiling and wanting to hold her as much as they could.  Lauren was obviously in love immediately.  And Joshua, who had shown little interest when Lauren was born, was very intrigued and stepped into his role as the big brother so sweetly.  Jason even said he had wanted to wear his nice sweater when he got dressed that morning because he wanted to look nice for me.  I had been so worried about him the night before.  Our resident worrier (wonder who he takes after there?), he was obviously shaken at the surprise news that I needed to go to the hospital on Thursday night.  We had been talking about it, but even he knew that it was not as scheduled.  When we walked out the door, he was on the verge of tears, as was I.  I was so pleased to see how well he had rebounded and how relieved he was that both his baby sister and I were just fine.

We stayed at the hospital until Saturday early in the afternoon when I had officially had enough of that and decided that I could either be sore at the hospital or at home with my family, and opted for the latter.  Jason had sent me a picture of Joshua and Lauren playing at home, and when I burst into tears at how much I missed them, I knew it was time to go.  Dr. Miller and Lewisburg Pediatrics gave us the all clear and we were quickly packing our belongings to get out of there.  My mom was kind enough to offer to stay with us on Saturday night to help Jason with the kids, so I placed myself on the couch and took to the business of feeding Mara and resting as much as I could.  Mom was a lifesaver- and I think we all really enjoyed having Nana here to share in Mara's coming home day/night.

The kids have done so well.  Lauren has had a few moments, but in all honesty, she's good for a few "moments" on a normal day.  Joshua returned to school yesterday wearing his "Big Brother" shirt and was so proud.  Mara has been a wonderful baby so far, other than a little feeding issue we're having over the past 24-48 hours.  She is on a complete nursing strike after having nursed like a champ from late Friday evening on.  As jaundice begins to set in, our ability to wait it out and let her work it out on her own are dwindling, which is causing supply issues and other stresses.  It's deja vu all over again just like when Joshua was born, and although I am quite disappointed and feeling a bit of a breastfeeding failure at the moment, I'm trying to focus on the blessing of this sweet baby girl and not so much on what my expectations for how everything was going to go once we got home were.  We haven't given up, but I am definitely on the edge of needing to make a decision as the pumping I'm doing is already having a major negative impact on my supply.  But, if you want the bright side, she sleeps like a dream, never cries, and is the cuddliest baby ever.  And I'm so in love.

I have to say, as well, that I am super blessed to have Jason home with us through the delivery and this whole week.  He has been an absolute champ with the kids- putting them both to bed, getting them up and dressed, dropping off and picking up at school, carrying laundry up and down and running countless errands and dealing with things that are nowhere close to as organized as we usually like.  But so far, being a family of 5 feels exactly right- like Mara is the final piece of our family that we have been waiting for.  

Enjoy a few pictures from her birthday and the days following...   

The Dugan's Rockin New Years Eve

At about 9:30 on New Years Eve, I said to Jason that it wasn't looking good for our 2011 tax deduction, nor for our 2011 health insurance deductible to apply to the birth of the new baby.  My next fear was that something would start happening and we'd be the first baby born in 2012, earning us a front page photo on the newspaper that I'm sure would have been less than attractive.  Thankfully, baby girl is still tucked safely inside my tummy and appears to be compliant enough to hold out the remaining 7 days until her scheduled birthday party.

We hadn't planned much for New Years Eve- just a quiet night at home.  I hadn't even gone so far as to make special snacks or anything like that for the kids, just having had enough time in the kitchen during Christmas prep.  So after a day of running around doing errands, we tucked in at home.  Joshua was intrigued by the idea of New Years Eve and seemed thrilled when I explained it as a night that he could stay up as late as he wanted to see if he could make it to watch the ball drop at midnight.  He was poised and ready to tackle the challenge and talked all evening about it.

 Until...

At 9:15 after getting his tub and bringing his sleeping bag and pillow downstairs to be comfy while he waited, his sweet little eyes couldn't stay open a second longer.  And he and Bear drifted off to dreamland.  This sweet boy has my same narcoleptic tendencies.  He can go from wide awake to completely zonked in less than a minute.  (If only he'd been that way as a newborn!)

Lauren, on the other hand, (our resident night owl) kept going until about 10:30, eating Oreos and watching Dora in the playroom.  Her night time routine continues to intrigue me, but she seems to like some alone time to decompress before bed.  She wants her snack, her blanket and her milk and a show to watch.  But she'll declare when she's ready for bed, and then usually goes to sleep pretty quickly once she's ready.

If I'm being honest, I should report that I, also, fell victim to the idea of sleep around 11:15 when I went to bed.  Poor Jason- spent midnight by himself in the living room while the rest of us were snoring away.  I hope that doesn't make me a bad wife.

New Years Day and the day after were chore days around the house with some cooking, laundry, washing of all the miniature pink things in the baby's drawers and closet, cleaning/restocking diaper bags, washing some bottles just in case, hanging a few pictures, etc.  The kids played and played, at one point even using the ottoman as some sort of a hideout.  When they're playing nicely, we try not to interrupt them, even if they're climbing inside of our furniture.  As long as everyone is happy, so are we!

We are now t-minus 1 week until the new baby's arrival.  At one point this morning I stopped dead in my tracks and said to the girls in the office that at this time next week, I'll be holding the baby, hopefully enjoying that feeling of falling in love all over again.  I can hardly believe it, but am so very excited to get the opportunity to do this again.  Seriously, how blessed can we get?  I have what should be my last doctor's appointment and non-stress test tomorrow, and as long as everything looks good, I suspect we'll be on course to meet the final Dugan early on Wednesday morning.  I will be 39 weeks tomorrow, and if my doctor had operating privileges on any day other than Wednesday, I'm pretty sure we'd have her here earlier, but at this point I'm just hoping the baby cooperates with my Type A self and stays put until Wednesday morning.  Although I realize full well that the Lord has a sense of humor and reserves the right to teach me a lesson about Who is really in charge at any given moment. 

Wishing everyone a healthy, happy New Year.  What a fun one 2012 is going to be!