Before and After

Joshua needed a haircut. In a bad way.

See?

He was such a big boy- sat up in the barber chair all by himself. Talked with Rene the whole time she was cutting his hair. I was so proud of him. But I wondered where my baby went?? He looked awfully grown up sitting up there.

BEFORE

AFTER

Just when I think...

I've been at a loss for material lately...and didn't yesterday just come along with some really silly stuff to write about? This may sound awfully disjointed, but you're probably used to that as long as this isn't your very first trip to our blog.

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That's the Price You Pay for a New Pair of Black Shoes

In all of the things that I cleared out of my closet last week, an overabundance of shoes was not one of them. I do not really have a thing with shoes...at least if we're going to put this into the perspective of the way a female usually adores shoes. My husband would disagree, I'd bet. But anyway. I normally have about 5 pairs of shoes that I wear....and I do mean wear. My patent leather, pointy toed black heels were my most beloved. I probably wore them 5 out of the 6 days each week that I have to get dressed up. Love. Those. Shoes. They've been showing some wear, and I've been stretching them out as long as I could.



Yesterday morning before church, I got dressed in my trusty black shoes and realized that when I walked on the hardwood floor I sounded like I had tap shoes on. Joshua even asked me why my walk sounded funny. It's because the shoes breathed their last. The tip on the heel was gone and I now, officially, had black patent leather, pointy toed tap shoes. Not good. I can't tap dance.



So we needed to hit the mall. I couldn't let Monday come without shoes. I decided I'd pull a super mom feat...change from church, shove lunch down Joshua's throat (in 45 minutes rather than an hour...amazing, I know), get to the mall, secure shoes and get back before we had missed the window of opportunity for a nap. No sleeping in the car because with Joshua, that means, NO NAP. And if you recall, I had big plans to work on the basement yard sale items while he slept.



We got the shoes. They're not patent leather, but they are pointy toed and they do make me quite happy. I believe they will even be able to be fancied up for our gala dinner in New York City next weekend. (Read: I will not be buying an impractical pair of strappy cute shoes to wear to a ONE TIME dinner in New York City. Go back and read about my wearing out theory on shoes if that doesn't make sense.) But here's where it all fell apart. Joshua was a great sport at the mall. He threw 8 pennies directly into the fountain with no misses and was super proud of himself. He chatted with people we knew and some we didn't. Really, it was a fun trip. He was groggy on the way home....eyes very heavy. He even closed them for about 10 minutes at one point. He woke up screaming and didn't close his eyes again until 10 pm last evening.



No nap. No basement cleaning done. And that, my friends, is the price you pay for a new pair of black shoes.

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No Nap Makes Joshua Very Silly...

Here are a few silly play time pictures from yesterday. With no sleep, it seemed to really spark Joshua's silly creative play. Here he is with his wobble goggles on his head and his bear light around his neck while he "fixed" the TV as I made dinner. As tired as he was, he was playing pretty independently and pretty contentedly. I enjoyed watching it.

These are from football practice with Daddy. He's getting a little better with catching, and boy can he ever throw. They giggle and carry on, and so do I. Luckily, the camera was close by and I was able to catch a few of the proud accomplishment smiles when he caught the ball. We're not quite ready to send a tape to JoePa yet, but he's having fun.

Doctor kit bag on head. Using his maracas and tamborine as a drum. What more can I say than that. I have no idea what was going on here. Jason and I were talking and all of a sudden he said, "Look at him!"

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Phone Call To Dr. Miller

Dr. Miller is our (really, my) OB/GYN. I don't know why Joshua decided that he needed to talk to him yesterday evening, but he did. I'll rescipt this as closely as possible because you really do need to get the whole thing as I did observing it.



Television remote pressed to his face like a telephone.



"Hello? Dr. Miller? This is Joshua Dugan calling."



Pause.



"I'm calling because I need to ask you something. My mommy hurt her foot. (We were sitting on our bed talking to Jason and he told me he needed to "fix" me.) Could you come and take a look at it?"



I kid you not. I'm not sure why he thought Dr. Miller would be a good choice for my foot since that's not exactly his.......um.......specialty. Not even close. But we didn't get into that.

Haven't been very good at this lately...

I wish I had a REALLY good, interesting reason for being MIA over the past few days. We've been here, doing our very same uninteresting things that we usually do, but I haven't had enough time to write about them...and perhaps feared that the broken-record might sound a bit boring to you. But there are a few things going on that have me behind schedule, or perhaps have redirected my attention from blog posts to other things. I'll recount...in case you're interested.

Closet Job--- Oh my goodness. I consider myself a relatively neat person. Everyone tells me I can keep a pretty neat house, and I take pride in that, despite the mountain of toys that we live with. However, I've learned something about myself in the last week or so. I'm a closet junkie. If you can shove things behind a door and shut it for the world NOT to see, that's evidently what I do. Jason and I are working to consolidate our closets (one walk-in full for him, one walk-in full for me) down to one walk-in period. Yikes. But what I learned when I started to tackle this job is that I have not cleaned out my closet (and I mean REALLY cleaned out my closet) since college. Ridiculous. About 6 garbage bags of clothes went to be donated...and that's what I didn't think would sell in our yard sale. I think I had a serious problem. It's better now, but I make a vow never to let that happen again.

Yard Sale--- Next weekend in Milton is the infamous Community Yard Sale Day. On this day every year, millions of insane people descend upon Greenbriar Drive. I do not exaggerate. They all come seeking bargains. We, personally, seek to clean out our basement. So, it's been two years since we've put anything out for this sale and we're planning to do so this year. Which means that I need to get my act together. The closet project has zapped all free (read: Joshua sleeping) time that I have in the past week, so this week is crunch time. I'm planning a Tuesday afternoon at home as well as all day Friday to prep this stuff and get it outside. Making a few bucks would be nice, but getting the crap out of the basement would be better.

Nice Weather--- Every spare second we've had that was not involving my head in the closet sorting through Heaven only knows what, we've been outside with Joshua. We've had trips to the park, lawn mowing, chalk drawing (his most recent masterpiece is a whale, a bunch of pelicans and the number 100 all in the driveway....no joke), and even a pizza party with Sydney. See why I haven't written?

So now at least I've shared the reasons for my absence. I know they're not great ones. And at least I've shared one new Joshua picture. I'll work on more today if I can. Nap time today starts the work in the basement.......Lord, give me strength.

Sleeping in?

I think by now, you all know our situation with sleeping in this house. It isn't pretty. Sadly...I'm used to it. And this may be a helpful trait when the newest Dugan comes to live with us in October. At least that's how I choose to frame it for the sake of sanity.

But...we appear to be on a bit of a new and improved schedule as far as Joshua is concerned. Up until about a week ago, he was going down (finally) after about an hour of reading, rocking, singing, etc. at 9:30 and then would be up, raring to go between 5 and 6. I know it doesn't seem like an earth shattering improvement, but he's now had his peepers closed at the same 9:30-ish timeframe, but has been sleeping peacefully until 7 and sometimes even 8:00! Honestly....those two hours are magic to me.

You also, by this time, know that I do not claim victory in the sleeping department.....well, not ever. So, I'm simply counting my blessings for a few days of extra breathing room in the morning. And for as long as it lasts, I'll be thankful.

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It's been a very quiet week here so far. Joshua and Daddy have been filling the house with giggles while they play sports after dinner. (As I think about it, perhaps the SPORTS are playing a role in this extra-tired situation. Hmmmmm.) Joshua has learned to throw a small football and can sometimes even catch it. Last evening they were playing baseball a bit and Joshua seemed to enjoy that. So far, no casualties in the house with broken things. It's fun to watch.....the giggles are contagious.

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I was pleased to learn yesterday from the kind people at Baby Center who send me emails about the little one in my tummy, that he or she is now 4.5 inches long. Awesome. Now what could explain the significantly-larger-than-that bump I am sporting? I'm now in that phase where I've had multiple people congratulate me on being pregnant, which says something. People just don't do that unless they're SURE you are.

I still have no firm guess in my mind as to whether this baby is a boy or a girl. If I HAD to guess, I'd say it's a girl, but I wouldn't put any money on it. Our next appointment is in a few weeks (May 6th- just before Jason and I leave on our New York City trip). That will be the dreaded alpha feta protein blood test that sent us racig to Geisinger with Joshua. I'm pretty sure we've decided to go ahead with that test despite the anxiety it causes us both. I just feel like, if there's something wrong, I want to know about it. It most certainly wouldn't change our course of action, but I'd want to know. After that, we'll probably get to schedule the ultrasound for whenever that will be. I'm uncertain whether they'll have me wait another full 4 weeks and do it around 22 weeks, or whether we'll schedule for 20.

So that's it from this camp. Hmmmm.....what to do until Joshua wakes up? This is AMAZING!! Have I said that?

Weekend in pictures...

I had so much fun capturing Joshua's fun on the camera this weekend. It finally felt like spring and we definitely took advantage of the sunshine and warm weather. I'm learning that, when it comes to raising a little boy, you can measure the "happiness" in a day by the filth in the bath water at the end of it. It was a very happy one for Joshua.

Sequence & Back in the Rhythm...

Duck.
Horse.
Chipmunk.
Climbing Tower.
Slide.
Swing #1.
Swing #2.

Repeat.

Then repeat again.

I'm noticing a few patterns developing with Joshua lately. He's turning into quite the sequencer. Partially, it scares me. And the other part of me figures that this is totally normal due to the genes he inherited. I tend to do things in the exact same order as well. Makeup. House cleaning. Grocery lists. Just about everything happens the exact same way every time I do it. Joshua has started to exhibit that as well.

Yesterday he woke up from his nap quite literally begging me to take him on a walk to the playgrounds. It was so beautiful and I had dinner under control, so we went. We had a blast, but I couldn't help but notice that Joshua had to do the activities in a very particular order...and then complete the circuit multiple times before we left.

We ended up going on another walk in the evening with Darla and Sydney, and he repeated the same sequence then too. On a side note, two walks in one day for this ever growing mommy was wonderful! Warm weather is going to be welcomed for the opportunity to get some blasted exercise!

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I'm also back in the rhythm this morning to return to work after a brief little "vacation" of sorts. It's been a very strange week, but such a blessing to have the opportunity to spend 4 days in a row with Joshua. We had so much fun. Yesterday was a day to do all of our jobs in an effort to save our weekend for some fun things. We cleaned the house from top to bottom, did about 3 loads of laundry (well, 2 1/2....one load is still in the dryer to be folded and put away), went grocery shopping, spent an hour at the office to give Julie a break for lunch, took a great nap, made dinner......we were PRODUCTIVE! We spent a few hours playing outside enjoying the nice day, as well. By all accounts, it was a great one.

I'm hoping to hit the St. Mary's Street park (Emily will probably be the only person who reads that and knows what I'm talking about) on Saturday morning for a while. We'll see how that shakes out. I'm betting that everyone in Lewisburg will likely have the same idea. It's like the mother of all playgrounds and Joshua absolutely loves it there. I'll take the camera if we go.

So it's back to reality for today....but that's OK. I don't mind our reality too much. But I will be anxious to get home to my buddy after work.

I could get used to this...

Home again today. I'm beginning to think that I could get used to this.

Getting up to make breakfast for Joshua without rushing around and trying to anxiously cross 10 things off of the infamous "to do" list before 7:00 am.

Making a point to do something special with Joshua every day. Like the library yesterday and the mall to throw pennies in the fountain (his request) today. The bonus for me was getting to return some things that have been laying on our spare bed for over 3 weeks. There's just no time for the mall normally.

Having my meal plan AND grocery list finalized on Tuesday for next week so that we can grocery shop when we feel like it this week instead of rushing around like crazy people to finalize a list and get there on Friday afternoon with all of the other crazy people.

Stopping in to the office for 30 minutes to check on things, realizing that everything is 100% under control. Perhaps I am not even being missed.

Working at home for 1 hour this morning on business things while spending the other 7 hours (so far) doing whatever Joshua wanted to. Mostly today it's been reading his library books and playing football.

Spending Joshua's naptime cleaning out dresser drawers in preparation for the great bedroom swap that's upcoming. I'm too embarassed to tell you how many LARGE BLACK LAWN SIZED garbage bags I removed from the premises this afternoon. But let's just say it took several trips down the stairs. All the while, I got to listen to my favorite little snorer sawing logs in his bed, happily dreaming of reading more library books and playing more football when he awakes.

Meatballs cooking in the crockpot for dinner when Jason gets home. No stress. No messy cleanup (did that already).

Laundry caught up. Folded. Put into its rightful place amongst the other clean things. I even managed some ironing.

One to-do list almost completely checked off. There is nothing that makes this Type A Mama happier than that.

If there's one thing I've learned by being a working mom, and I have a feeling all other working moms have as well (for sheer survival) is the value of an hour, or a day...or four. I've often said that I think I could accomplish just about anything with one extra day at home each week. What I used to have to spread over a whole week's time (before Joshua), I can now squeeze pretty successfully into a day, or even a half of a day if the need arises. So I'm not quite sure what to do with myself while home on this unexpected "vacation" of sorts. It appears that this Heaven will continue through Thursday as the plans stand now.

I'm starting to think that I could get used to this.

Easter Weekend

Not the best picture, but one or both of them was squirmy in all of the pictures.

We've returned from our weekend trip to Lewistown and, I think, finally have everything unpacked and in it's rightful place. Joshua had a great time, despite the fact that he felt really crummy most of the weekend. I know, because I was right there with him. Our colds went from bad to really, really, really bad on Thursday and Friday. And honestly, Saturday and Sunday weren't great either. We're both perking up a bit today, but it's been a long haul.

Highlights of the weekend would definitely include Joshua finding all of the eggs that the Easter Bunny hid for him while he napped on Saturday afternoon, as well as the special Easter treats he found from Grandma, Nana and Pap, and Aunt Libby & Uncle Zig. We ate an awesome Easter dinner on Saturday night and then got up and went to church at my home church on Sunday morning. Joshua and Brooke both ended up in the nursery for the second half of church, but we had fun catching up with all of the other little ones who were in there.

I find myself home unexpectedly for a majority of this week due to a sudden death in Jason's family. Joshua and I spent this morning doing chores, then we went to the library to pick out some new books to read and then took a trip to Mommy's office to do a little work and give Bonnie a break for lunch. I've made our Easter eggs into egg salad that I might have to close my eyes to eat. It is...shall we say...tinted by the dye from the eggs. Looks festive and slightly scary at the same time. Next on my list is changing our sheets and folding laundry. Gotta love being ahead of schedule, although not under good circumstances in this case. I expect to be home tomorrow and then again on Wednesday to attend funeral services. Nana will be on the way to help for the day of the funeral once we hear when that's scheduled.

Tried to get tricky...

So I tried to get tricky and start a new post to actually post today. You'll have to scroll down below the egg coloring to see it.

I'll have to work on figuring that out.

"Coloring" Eggs...

We had a very fun time coloring Easter eggs last night with Joshua. My expectations were, shall we say, limited. I knew that Joshua would have a good time, and he seemed to, especially seeing all of the colors that we made.

You may notice that he actually "colored" a big egg of his own while we were working with the dye. I thought that was a brilliant diversion, if I do say so myself.

When it was all said and done, Joshua needed to eat a yellow egg first. He had no interest in using the stickers or any other decorations on the eggs themselves, and rather wanted to put them on paper. So that's what we did. So we have about a dozen brightly colored eggs with no other glitz or glamour. But we had a good time.

And I'm pleased to report that no egg dye landed anywhere it wasn't supposed to. Victory on all accounts.

Our day...

Four years ago today, Jason and I got married. And I guess, in a lot of ways, the wheels started spinning that would shape our lives into what they are today, and this wonderful mess of things that I write about and think about and share here. Without April 9th, 2005 there wouldn't be a Joshua...or the other little miracle we await. Without April 9th, 2005, there wouldn't be a home that we share and work to make beautiful and full of love. And without that day, there wouldn't be these wonderful precious memories that warm my heart at the thought of them.

I've always loved that an anniversary is a special holiday that only means something to the people who were married that day, and the people they love who were there with them in that special moment. I love that the rest of the world goes about its business on April 9th, and only Jason and I and our closest friends and family have any idea that it's a special day.

I'm a real sucker for a good song. With good words that mean something. And when I think about our wedding day, a song from a CD that I can't even remember what it's called comes immediately to mind. It's called "I Never Saw Blue Like That". I can honestly tell you that I have never seen a sky that blue in all my life as I remember the sky to have been that day. It was perfect. Not a cloud in the sky. A warm, breezy, beautiful spring Saturday. I felt like God did that just for us and it's a lingering memory that I have etched in my heart from our wedding day. And I couldn't believe how perfectly the flowers came together, with vibrant spring colors that I'll always remember.

I remember so many silly things that happened leading up to the wedding itself. Like our slumber party the night before the wedding. Remember, guys? Libby and I were bunked up elementary school style in our bed. We were giggling like little kids, and pretty soon Lindsay joined us from the other room. And it all went downhill from there. At some point, we got an intoxicated phone call from the boys (and my Dad) from the hotel after they'd been sharing stories with each other in Club Bob (that's what you call any hotel room where my dad is staying because it turns into a party). And we giggled some more. What fun it was to be together.

I remember going to Walmart to buy another camera card with Libby on Saturday morning. We were dressed in identical outfits (my gift to the girls), had no makeup on our faces, but gorgeous up-do's. I was wearing a crown. Only on your wedding day would you walk through Walmart looking like that. But we didn't care. And I believe we giggled all the way.

And then I remember the important things as well. Like the feeling of responsibility I felt when the clock struck 4:00. It was like, all of a sudden, it all hit me. I was getting married. Right then. Jason was waiting for me at the end of the aisle. We had planned so diligently for the music that would be played- arranged for the trumpeter and coordinated with the organist at the church. But I didn't hear a thing as we walked down the aisle. I remember sobbing through my vows, because they meant something to me. I really meant it. Every single word. I remember feeling so blessed that so many people that we had known for so many years were there to share the day with us. Maybe they were just there for the party, but I doubt it. Well, maybe a few.

I remember losing my tulle skirt at the reception. If it hadn't been one of the happiest, silliest days of my life, I might have run away from sheer embarassment. But not on your wedding day. You just roll with it. You grab onto your sister while she undresses you discreetly in front of 150 of your family and friends, and then you dance with your husband. So that's what I did.

I've come to realize over the years that a wedding day is a rock in your memory. It's what you hang on to when things get tough. When those vows come into play and you have to remember that although there was never a promise of smooth sailing, there was a promise you made to each other in the presence of God...that's when you lean on the memory of your wedding day. We have been blessed with a pretty smooth ride- not an easy one, but one free of any major bumps and bounces. We've been healthy and fortunate and blessed. Sure, we've been mad at each other. But I've never talked to anyone who has been married longer than one day who could honestly say that they haven't been. But our lives are anchored to this day...where we remember always those beautiful blue skies, and the overflowing love in our hearts for each other.

I still feel that way.

Delayed...but still silly.

I've been walking around in stretchy pants bliss for the last several days, to the point where the world escaped me. Or at least the blog did. It's good to be back, with new pictures to share.

We had quite a busy weekend, running to and from Camp Victory for the Key Club Board Trainer. I was hoping for a much nicer weekend, weather wise, than the one we got. My plans of letting Joshua run about the camp didn't exactly pan out when he needed arctic weather gear to be outside. We went out Friday afternoon after he boycotted his nap, and unloaded our goods in the pouring down rain at the camp. Then we ate dinner with the group after they arrived and headed home for an early bath and bedtime. I know you'll find this hard to believe, but Jason and I actually sat down...together...and watched a movie on Friday night. Honest. I'm not lying. I can tell you that it's been since Joshua was a small baby that we've done that. I had snagged a copy of Marley and Me, so that's what we watched. Talk about a tear jerker. But also a pretty honest account of how your life changes with a baby...and another baby.

Saturday morning, Joshua and I left for Camp again because I had some responsibilities there during the day. We stayed until about 4:00....yep, no nap again that day...and then headed back home for dinner with Daddy. Early to bed again on Saturday night for Joshua. I have to tell you that these two days with no naps have been the only solid nights of sleep Joshua has had in recent memory. If he wasn't such a crab without that nap, I'd suggest dropping it altogether. But I know he still needs at least some sleeping time during the day.

Sunday morning we got up and went to church. Joshua was seeming interested in going to kids church, and was being sufficiently scroochy (I don't know if that's a real word, but I use it all the time), so off he...I mean "we" went. I tried to leave him there and went to the restroom before coming back to peek in on him. No peeking necessary. I could hear him wailing through the door AND the bathroom door. The poor teacher had 10 little children in the class, was holding Joshua in her lap, and still singing with the others. I had to rescue her and ended up staying to help with the class. 10 little people is just too much for one teacher. Especially when one of them is screaming bloody murder. All I can say is God bless his preschool teacher. I'm already praying for her and I have no idea who she will be yet or even where he'll be going.

Sunday afternoon Jason and I watched yet another movie. Amazing. This time it was Will Smith's Seven Pounds. Good movie. I'm still working my way through processing that one. It was sweet and disturbing all at the same time. After the movie and nap time, we headed outside to play for as long as the sun shone. In fact, we even dumped our dinner plans and ended up ordering Ciro's because I couldn't bear to come inside to cook when it was so nice and warm outside. Joshua loved it, too. Spring....hurry up and get here already!

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We're gearing up for a trip to Lewistown on Friday to spend some much needed time with my family. I miss them...a lot. Our phone conversations have been short and rushed...or haven't even fit into our we-shouldn't-be-this-busy schedules. And I hate it when that happens. I just need a few days to be WITH THEM. All of them. In the same place. Eating good food. Enjoying our beautiful children and laughing about the silly things they do now and what we used to do. Hunting for Easter eggs. Going to church. The whole thing.

Can't wait.

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And in other random tidbits...I was signing Joshua up for summer music class when I opened the website for Susquehanna University's Music Prep program. And who did I see there? LOOK!

It's Joshua! This was from last fall's session and is the big drum that the kids sit around and play with Miss Allison while we sing the "Listen to the drum" song. He's sitting next to his favorite friends...Ella and Elsa. (I'm sorry to tell you that the class had two Ellas and two Elsas in it. But the ones he's sitting between were his most favorite. I only know that because he talked about them all the time leading up to music class. When actually IN their presence, he would shrink into a shy mess and barely say hello.) The little girl looking away totally and not paying attention was Emily, a spirited little girl who got moved to a different class because she didn't exactly listen.....not even a little bit. She did, however, have the cutest pigtails EVER, with little squiggly bows in them every single week that matched her clothes. I notice those things especially because I have a son. And the most fun thing I get to do with his hair is to put the soap suds in it at bathtime and watch him giggle when he looks at himself in the spigot and sees the white foamy bubbles on his head.

But I digress...a lot. Music class will resume in June. I just thought you'd enjoy seeing the photo since I've never snuck a camera in there with me. Why not, I wonder?

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And, so as not to drag this on any longer than I need to, I'm 14 weeks pregnant today. No more first trimester. Our next appointment is Thursday afternoon. I'll post about that on Thursday if there's anything interesting to report besides pounds gained.

Do you know what makes a pregnant mommy happy?

S-T-R-E-T-C-H-Y Pants!

I've officially crossed over, my friends. Sometime over the past 48 hours, the pulling and stretching that I've been feeling has accomplished something. I put on a pair of nylons this morning and nearly cried at how uncomfortable they were. I sat on the bed thinking, "You can do it!" and then quickly realized that I could not. So into the stretchy pants I went.

And oh my goodness....what a difference that makes.

It still seems a little early to me to be thinking about elastic as my new best friend (13 weeks), but I can't deny the bulging tummy. I've been thinking that it's just "redistribution of fluff", but it's not looking that way today at all. I don't think it's that I've indulged in more than I should have. The scale isn't really moving at all. Anyway, no sense justifying anything. As my dad would say, "It is what it is, Meg." Someone who has had two children, please tell me that you were in need of some stretch earlier with the second one than with the first.

I know this blog is not about me, but I guess...indirectly...this post is about the one we're waiting to meet. So it qualifies for posting here.

God bless the person who invented stretchy pants.

The book that turned me to mush & pennies...

I went to the bookstore yesterday in search of a book about Easter to read to Joshua. I'm beginning to realize that his understanding of Easter mostly involves plastic eggs with treats hidden inside of them. I know I can do better than that in teaching him what's so special about Easter. So I found a nice book and we enjoyed reading it.

However, on a shelf closeby the Easter section in the store was another book that literally had me transformed into a puddle of mush last night at bedtime. Joshua was clean, groggy, still and covered in his magic sleeping blanket, cuddled up with Bear in my ever-shortening lap. The book was called "Let Me Hold You Longer". I picked it up because it looked to be a nice book about a mom and a little boy and all the phases of his growing up. Suffice it to say that I was not quite prepared for the rip-your-heart-out sentiment within the pages. It starts out talking about how when the little boy was first born, the mom was mostly concerned about his "firsts". (Check. Understand that.) But it goes on to say that it was his "lasts" that she wanted to remember and hang on to the most. The last time she held a bottle to his mouth. The last time they cuddled up with a book together. And on and on and on. All the way up to him leaving to go to college and asking for advice about girls. Yikes. Let's just say I was crying by the time I finished the first page, and it went quickly downhill from there.

The funny part of the story was Joshua. Leave it to him to bring me comic relief when I'm literally melting into a blubbering mess. Normally when he cries, he asks you to "wipe my tears". He insists on a clean Kleenex for every 3 tears that fall from his eyes. It's a little silly really, extremely wasteful as far as tissues go, and I have no idea where it started. But last night as my tears fell like rain, he looked at me with the sweetest eyes and said, "Mommy, should I wipe your tears?" Which only served to make me cry more.

Good book. I'm always a fan of a good cry....for good reasons. And that sweet little boy who calls me Mommy sure does qualify.

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Pennies.

Joshua and Grandma have a serious date with pennies every morning. Grandma saves them up in her coin purse and lets Joshua count them while he drops them into his piggy bank. They've been doing this for as long as his little fingers could hold a penny between them.

Yesterday when I got home, Judy said, "Joshua, tell Mommy who is on the penny." To which he replied, "Abraham Lincoln".

If only we were showing as much positive momentum in potty training as we were Presidential history. One thing at a time, I suppose. And maybe Joshua could wear diapers to his Jeopardy audition. What do you think?