Our day...

Four years ago today, Jason and I got married. And I guess, in a lot of ways, the wheels started spinning that would shape our lives into what they are today, and this wonderful mess of things that I write about and think about and share here. Without April 9th, 2005 there wouldn't be a Joshua...or the other little miracle we await. Without April 9th, 2005, there wouldn't be a home that we share and work to make beautiful and full of love. And without that day, there wouldn't be these wonderful precious memories that warm my heart at the thought of them.

I've always loved that an anniversary is a special holiday that only means something to the people who were married that day, and the people they love who were there with them in that special moment. I love that the rest of the world goes about its business on April 9th, and only Jason and I and our closest friends and family have any idea that it's a special day.

I'm a real sucker for a good song. With good words that mean something. And when I think about our wedding day, a song from a CD that I can't even remember what it's called comes immediately to mind. It's called "I Never Saw Blue Like That". I can honestly tell you that I have never seen a sky that blue in all my life as I remember the sky to have been that day. It was perfect. Not a cloud in the sky. A warm, breezy, beautiful spring Saturday. I felt like God did that just for us and it's a lingering memory that I have etched in my heart from our wedding day. And I couldn't believe how perfectly the flowers came together, with vibrant spring colors that I'll always remember.

I remember so many silly things that happened leading up to the wedding itself. Like our slumber party the night before the wedding. Remember, guys? Libby and I were bunked up elementary school style in our bed. We were giggling like little kids, and pretty soon Lindsay joined us from the other room. And it all went downhill from there. At some point, we got an intoxicated phone call from the boys (and my Dad) from the hotel after they'd been sharing stories with each other in Club Bob (that's what you call any hotel room where my dad is staying because it turns into a party). And we giggled some more. What fun it was to be together.

I remember going to Walmart to buy another camera card with Libby on Saturday morning. We were dressed in identical outfits (my gift to the girls), had no makeup on our faces, but gorgeous up-do's. I was wearing a crown. Only on your wedding day would you walk through Walmart looking like that. But we didn't care. And I believe we giggled all the way.

And then I remember the important things as well. Like the feeling of responsibility I felt when the clock struck 4:00. It was like, all of a sudden, it all hit me. I was getting married. Right then. Jason was waiting for me at the end of the aisle. We had planned so diligently for the music that would be played- arranged for the trumpeter and coordinated with the organist at the church. But I didn't hear a thing as we walked down the aisle. I remember sobbing through my vows, because they meant something to me. I really meant it. Every single word. I remember feeling so blessed that so many people that we had known for so many years were there to share the day with us. Maybe they were just there for the party, but I doubt it. Well, maybe a few.

I remember losing my tulle skirt at the reception. If it hadn't been one of the happiest, silliest days of my life, I might have run away from sheer embarassment. But not on your wedding day. You just roll with it. You grab onto your sister while she undresses you discreetly in front of 150 of your family and friends, and then you dance with your husband. So that's what I did.

I've come to realize over the years that a wedding day is a rock in your memory. It's what you hang on to when things get tough. When those vows come into play and you have to remember that although there was never a promise of smooth sailing, there was a promise you made to each other in the presence of God...that's when you lean on the memory of your wedding day. We have been blessed with a pretty smooth ride- not an easy one, but one free of any major bumps and bounces. We've been healthy and fortunate and blessed. Sure, we've been mad at each other. But I've never talked to anyone who has been married longer than one day who could honestly say that they haven't been. But our lives are anchored to this day...where we remember always those beautiful blue skies, and the overflowing love in our hearts for each other.

I still feel that way.