A whole week?

Did I really go a whole week without a blog update? I find it hard to believe, but the weeks are flying by with unbelievable speed right now. I wake up on Monday morning and, in the blink of an eye, it's Friday again. I used to wish for that to happen when I was in school....now it just leaves me with a pile of things on my to-do list that never quite make it to complete status.

We had a great week last week, including a mid-week visit from Jeannine and Joe who are two of Joshua's favorite people. We were blessed with a wonderful weekend to cap it off. I ended up being home with the kids on Friday, so I took care of getting my seasonal and H1N1 flu shots. Now there's a good time. Joshua was so concerned at the prospect of me getting shots and insisted on holding my hand. When it was all over with, he commended me for being brave and then got to have a lollipop. I found it quite unfair that I was the one stuck with needles while he got a reward, but I guess that's the kind of thing that a mother should just brush off. When it was all said and done, we had spent an hour of packing up, bundling up, loading up and then the un-doing of it all for the sake of a 2 injections that took no more than 10 seconds to administer.

Later Friday morning we had a visitor that was right up Joshua's alley. We were asked to allow Lauren's participation in a research study from Penn State. After much consideration, Jason and I decided to allow her to participate in order to give back a little bit to PSU. (This eases my conscience a bit when they call 80 times a month asking for a financial donation. I'll just say, "We've donated our daughter to research at the university. What more do you want from us?") Anyway, they're doing a temperament study and got our name from the newspaper announcement when Lauren was born. They send a student researcher to our house at 4 months, and then we'll take her to the lab on campus at 6 months, 12 months and 18 months to play with toys and listen to music. (And I may or may not already have a Meyers Dairy trip all conjured up in my mind. And perhaps some new PSU gear for the Dugan family.) Anyway, a nice student named Tina came to our house on Friday morning to play with Lauren. She showed her some mobiles and had her listen to some music and video taped her reaction to them. Lauren had a blast. Joshua was so concerned with everything that she was doing and asked her no less than 350 questions about why she was doing things and how she was going to play with Lauren and what she was trying to figure out. I believe Tina was never so happy to complete a home visit as she was on Friday morning. God bless his heart, Joshua is so analytical. If he doesn't end up in medical school or the Penn State College of Engineering someday, I'll be shocked.

Saturday morning, Lauren and I went to a board meeting of an organization that I sit on the board for. She was so well behaved. We were there for a few hours in between feedings and at the first sign of hunger for her, we hightailed it back home. While we were gone, Joshua and Jason did some heavy-duty playing at the house. I could tell by the state of disarray things were in. Joshua isn't a kid who can play with just one thing at a time. If he's engrossed in play, just about everything we own is scattered about the house and jammed into different spots (drawers, baskets, shelves, etc.) that he is pretending to use. Some days I'm fine with it and other days it makes me feel like I'm coming unglued. On those days, I put things away when he's not looking. Really, it's the definition of insanity, because he's busy getting everything back out while I'm picking it up, but for some reason, I feel like I'm maintaining some sense of control by scooping things up behind him.

Sunday was a church day and marked Lauren's first stay in the nursery. We've got quite the talker on our hands lately, complete with blowing raspberries, squeals and a whole plethora of other noises that she can make. I love it, but she was getting awfully chatty during an inappropriate time of the service for her to be chatting up a storm (prayer time), so I took her out about half way through the service. Evidently she did fine in the nursery. I'm happy to report no panic attack on my part (no shaking, no sweating, nothing....ask Emily and Jason as they were right beside me!), although I was quite anxious to get her picked up after the sermon was over.

Enjoy some pictures from the past few days.

(Please don't miss Joshua screaming like a banchee in the background of this one. Nice touch, huh?)

Yes, Joshua is without pants in this picture. I believe it had something to do with his inability to pee INSIDE the potty anymore. We've cleaned up more puddles on the floor in recent days than I care to tell you about. We're at a bad inbetween stage here because he's getting too big for the potty chair, but isn't big enough to climb up on the big potty by himself.

Here's Lauren all dressed for church. This dress is my definite favorite!

And this one makes it worth checking the blog, at least I think so. Check out that dimple! I couldn't possibly love her any more than I do.

Weekend Hodge Podge

Give us a weekend at our house and we'll give you more riveting reading material. This will be presented hodge podge style because nothing really goes together, but it's all worth reading (at least I think so).

For bloggable weekend event #1, I'd like to invite you to participate in another game of "What is Joshua playing?" We haven't done this since he made the campfire out of blocks this spring, but go ahead and look at the following picture and think about what he may be imagining while the Jeopardy theme song plays in your mind...


This one may not be so obvious, so let me help you. Baby Jesus (small stuffed lion given to him by Danaca and Christine) is in the manger (the basket). The other animals are the supporting cast to the Christmas story. Three of them were supposed to be wise men, who were aptly named Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh (although Joshua told me that "sometimes they're all called Myrrh, it just depends"). Exactly what it depends on, I don't know. He did point out that Lumpy the elephant was a shepherd who was holding a duck. Even Joshua thought that was a little out of the ordinary, but we decided to let our imaginations run wild.

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Bloggable weekend event #2 was a doozie. LAUREN ROLLED OVER! Yay Lauren! She's been getting so close for a few days, but I laid her down on her blanket on Saturday morning and without even thinking about it, she rolled herself over from her back to her tummy. I flipped her back over onto her back and she repeated course over and over. So it looks like we've got that one checked off of the list. Up next, packing for college. At least it seems to me that's how quickly this is all going by. I find it comical that I was in such a hurry to see Joshua reach all of these important milestones, and I now find myself praying that the time will go a little slower with Lauren. But she doesn't seem to be submitting to that theory...she has a whole world to explore and she's ready to get to it. We were so proud of her- video camera documentation of her new found mobility quickly ensued. So I guess gone are the days of her staying where we put her. Oh dear...

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Bloggable event #3.....Lauren meets the Bumbo.

Despite the fact that I've seen numerous babies sitting in these silly seats, it never gets any less comical to me. For some reason, it's just funny to see a little tiny person sitting upright without an adult to help them. And they always make the funniest faces while they're getting used to it. See? She looks quite puzzled.

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Bloggable weekend event #4 deserves a post all its own, but I'm not at a point in my life that I can wait to write things down. Life is going by so quickly that if it doesn't get journalled right away, it'll get lost so quickly.

Yesterday afternoon, Joshua and I were walking downstairs when he started to sing. This is not at all unusual as he is singing something almost all of the time. Generally, it's not a real song. It's some made up jumble of sounds that he's putting to music, and it's not even usually in tune. But yesterday he really showed some skill.

Does anyone like Lady Antebellum? I sure hope so, or else this story isn't going to be half as funny as it ought to be. But his song was, "It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now..." I nearly died laughing and Jason just shook his head. Joshua continued to sing this song over and over and over and over all afternoon and evening, like it was stuck on play in his mind. We took this as a sign that he had seen the video on CMT one too many times.

Just to redeem myself in case I look like a horrible mother for letting this music into our house to be repeated by our kids, he also had sung all of the praise and worship songs from church yesterday morning while he ate his lunch. We sang "I Want to See Jesus Lifted High" (complete with clapping in the right spots) and "I Will Sing to Him A New Song" many times. He also requested the hymn we were singing while we walked out to drop him off at kids' church. His request was for the "one about glory in the hole". It was actually Heaven Came Down, and the lyrics he was recalling were "...and glory filled my soul" (but I guess he was close). How he remembered all of that, I have no idea.

Just when you think you've got it licked, the baby has a blowout.

It was a good morning at our house. At least mostly.

Although it may not sound like good news, Lauren has been waking somewhere in the neighborhood of 2 am to eat again. The good part about that is that she then falls back to sleep and sleeps until somewhere around 5 or 5:30 before her belly rumbles and she misses her Mama, which allows me to catch some extra sleep until that time. Then I'll lay her back down and get into the shower around 6:00....a far more civil time to be awake than the 4:30 shift I was pulling as early as Monday. She generally sleeps until about 8:00, when I get her dressed and feed her one more time before leaving for the office. That schedule means that I only have to miss 2 feedings with her if I'm able to leave the office just a smidge early in the afternoons, which hasn't been a problem so far.

I bet you're exhausted just reading that, aren't you?

I share that because it gives a sense of how delicately the time schedule is balanced. At only two and a half weeks back to work, I find myself already starting to stretch the limits a bit. "Gee....if I hit that snooze button one more time, I think I can still make it all happen." 14 days back at work and I'm already taking a walk on the wild side and gambling with the timeframes. You never knew me to be such a rebel, now did you?

This morning, things were sailing along beautifully. Joshua had been exhausted (like throw-a- temper-tantrum and melt-into-tears-over-the-tiniest-thing exhausted) last night. He ended up fast asleep beside me on the couch during Modern Family at 8:00 last night. That was a good thing because some of the content on that program bordered on inappropriate for the ears of a 3 year old. Despite my fears that his "early-to-bed" would lead to an obnoxiously "early-to-rise" this morning, he shocked me and slept until 7:15. I was dressed and ready to go, with a load of laundry in and chili ready to start in the crockpot this afternoon before Lauren even made a peep at 8:00. Pumping supplies were washed, dried, packed in the car and ready for the day. Lunch was packed. Breakfast dishes were cleaned. Cup of coffee had already been enjoyed. I was thinking that this might actually be the morning that I made it to work before 9:30.

And then Lauren had a blowout while she was eating. She soaked her onesie. Up to her shoulder blades. I know. And even though I got her changed before she ruined her outfit, I still had to strip her down completely and wash her off before I could get her dressed again.

Just goes to show that poop happens. And I still haven't seen the office before 9:30. Maybe tomorrow.

Use for a Hammer #437

We all know that Joshua, aka Mr. Fix It always has his tools nearby. He carries them in one of a number of tool storage options (two tool boxes, one tool caddy on wheels, a belt with loops and pockets, his backpack or even one of my Longaberger baskets). Regardless, they're always within arms reach.

This story is one of juxtaposition.

Add to the tool situation the fact that we've found, in recent weeks, that involving Joshua in dinner preparation is a good idea. He's more likely to eat the things that he had a hand in helping with.

So last night I was making chicken parm (which, by the way, is a new recipe that seriously rocked my world and will be going into the Dugan family rotation for many years to come...go here if you want to get the recipe for yourself). I saw this as the perfect opportunity for his participation so I told him to get his hammer. Not a chance I was going to give him the real meat mallett...are you kidding me? He was so happy to be pounding the chicken that I had to tell him to stop because the poor chicken was about to yell "uncle".

And here was the look on Lauren's face during all of the pounding. She looked concerned...as did I.


I wish I could tell you that Joshua gobbled up that chicken like a big boy. But I had a real mistake moment that quickly got woven into the evening's menu. I usually check labels really closely when I grocery shop and have found Wal Mart brand cheese to sometimes say "may contain traces of pecans". As a side note, I have no idea why there might be pecans in cheese, but we can't take chances. So I had cleaned up the whole mess of pans and dishes from the chicken parm prep. As I was putting the mozzarella cheese back in the fridge (which incidentally was now melting over the chicken parm in the oven), I glanced at the label and saw the dreaded pecans listed on the ingredients. All of a sudden I thought I was going to have to get more chicken out and start the process again to get a piece that Joshua could eat. Jason, in his infinite wisdom, suggested that I put a few chicken nuggets that we have that are safe for him down in the sauce and pass them off as the chicken Joshua had made. That immediately sounded better than recreating the mess I had just made and then cleaned up. And so we did. He ate his chicken nuggets and pasta like a champ, all the while thinking it was the stuff he had pounded the living daylights out of a half hour prior. Someday I won't be able to pull those switcheroos, but for last night, it worked. Phew.

Boy that was a long story about chicken parm. Sorry!

And just for fun, here are a few pictures of the kids from this morning. If I could eat them up I just might.

Riveting Weekend

It was a riveting weekend at the Dugan household. I mean....knock your socks off, jump up and down exciting stuff. See?

Joshua was so bored that he actually fell asleep on the couch Sunday afternoon and slept for a few hours. We've come to appreciate these days, and realize that he's catching up on some lost sleep from the month prior. Now that we know we're not going to get a nap out of him until mid-February, we can plan our afternoon activities accordingly.

The most exciting part of the weekend came on Saturday afternoon. As a formal State Farm duty, I got to attend the Bucknell basketball game to "Feed the Fans" with other State Farm colleagues from around the area. I had planned to take Lauren with me, but Jason and Josh decided to tag along for some "out of the house" time due to a lack of any better ideas. We were grasping at straws when the big plan was to take Josh to get a haircut, only to find out that the barber was closed. But I think the game was a good idea. Joshua had a blast. I have to laugh every time I look at this picture. You can't really tell, but his little rump isn't even heavy enough to hold down the seat! If he wasn't paying attention, it would start to fold up on him, yet he insisted on sitting in chair like a big boy. That's right, little buddy. Don't you ever let your skinny little self slow you down.

And his favorite part was getting to give Bucky the Bison a high five. This child has absolutely no fear of mascots. Jason let him sit on the bench below him by himself, but had to reign him back in one time that he tried to inch his way out onto the court.

The rest of the weekend was filled with the usual...and if you've read this blog for more than 5 minutes, you know exactly what that entails. But I have to say that the highlight of the weekend for me was spending some time with the kids. I was really appreciating them both and had to really work hard to convince myself to do anything besides just talk to Josh and stare at Lauren.

Lauren has taken a turn into what I can only describe as the sweetest personality I've ever seen. Most of the weekend, she sat peacefully observing everything around her. She has definitely found her voice in recent weeks, but in the past couple of days has been using it quite frequently. She absolutely loves talking to her big brother. At one point on Friday evening, the two of them had what I would probably term their first real conversation. Joshua would make a silly noise and then Lauren would tell him what she thought of it. Precious doesn't even come close to describing it. She's letting out excited shrieks, adorable coos and fantastic giggles with great frequency these days. I honestly thought about bringing her to the office with me today just so I didn't have to miss her. I have no idea what I ever did to deserve her, but I sure am thankful.

Joshua finally mastered the art of kissing. After no less than 2 years of trying to get him to be able to smack his lips to give a kiss, he finally got it. By the way I reacted, you'd have thought he had learned how to do long division. I really can't imagine how I might react when he does master long division. What would be appropriate there? But now that we've mastered kissing (and had a few lessons in who it is appropriate for him to be kissing) we're setting our sights high on being able to spit out his toothpaste. This skill, my friends, has been the bain of my existence in terms of teaching Joshua life skills that he needs to have to be a fully functioning member of society. If anyone has any suggestions on teaching methods, kindly share them with me! At the rate we're going, he'll forever be using toddler toothpaste that is "safe to swallow". That'll be the source of much teasing when he has to explain it to his college roommate. (Gee Linds....how would that have gone on our first night in Heister Hall? As if the whole thing wasn't comical enough.)

If you've stuck with me this long, I offer my sincere thanks. You're a good friend to care about the minute details of our lives. (Hopefully it worked that I continued to bait you in with pictures!) Perhaps something more interesting will happen soon, but I wouldn't hold your breath.

Things I never thought I'd hear...

I've had a list in my planner for a few days of things that have been overheard at our house lately. It started with a quick note jotted down one night after a good chuckle about it. There have been other things to write about in recent days, so the list just stayed in my planner and I would add things as they happened. Honestly, I never imagined them to be spoken from our mouths. But it's comical enough to write down.

"Here Josh...I fixed your defibrilator."

"Stop touching me there!"

"Mommies have those so that they can feed their babies. Nope...you'll never get them."

"Please stop trying to catapult your sister out of her seat."

"Pull your pants up. No really...PULL YOUR PANTS UP!"

"Good job Josh! You only peed in your pants a little bit!"

"No I don't think Bear does pick his nose. And you shouldn't either."

Happy weekend everyone! Nothing too exciting planned at the Dugan household. There's the ever popular cleaning that needs to be done, but that's a song and dance you've heard far too many times. It'll all get done and we'll live to enjoy another week next week. See you then.

I had a moment.

I had a moment this morning.

It's no secret that things around our house have been moving awfully fast lately. You know you're in for it when your list of things to do BEFORE leaving the house for the office is numbered into the double digits, not to mention what you have waiting for you when you arrive at work. I find myself in go-go-go mode most of the time, rushing from thing to thing, feeling frustrated that nothing is moving quite as quickly as I need it to. If only I had the ability to zip through the "have to's" and the ability to slow down the "want to's". But I guess that's not how it works or else another mother far more intelligent than I would have that one figured out, patented and trademarked by now.

This morning, Joshua was in no particular hurry to do anything. In fact, upon hearing me accost Joshua a couple of times to "stick a nickel in it", Jason came over to his room and said, "You know, he's got all day. He's not in a rush." Obviously not. But I was. A couple of other things happened that I felt like I was racing through until Lauren woke up.

I was sitting with her at the kitchen table just talking to her, catching up on all we'd missed of each other's lives since we met at 2:50 am and 5:44 am. She smiled this super grin and giggled at me. Joshua came running over, wearing his construction gloves and hard hat, carrying his Lorax stuffed animal that I got for him at Kohls the other day. And he smiled his super grin and giggled at his baby sister. And then he said, "Mommy, I love you" and then went about his business building something or deconstructing something or pretending to go camping (all of which were in progress by 7 am). And that was my moment. Nothing I had gotten accomplished or had left unaccomplished paled in comparison to the joy in that tiny little interaction with my kids.

If only I was smart enough to slow down and appreciate those moments that are all around me all the time, instead of being so focused on racing from unimportant thing to unimportant thing.

The really ironic part about it is that later this morning when I was eating my breakfast (and yes, I have to actually put that on a list of things to do or else it gets missed in the morning shuffle) and checking blogs, I saw that MckMama was pondering the same thoughts and wrote about it more eloquently than I could. But it just goes to show that every single mom deals with that feeling and the struggle to put on the brakes and focus on what really matters, especially when the to-do list is longer than the time you have to cross things off of it.

I had a moment this morning and I'm so thankful for it.

The strike has ended.

I present to you, in all his glory, Joshua...smiling, happy, wearing a cheeseburger shirt (which cracks me up for some reason) and allowing me to take his picture. Oh happy day. There's no guarantee when he might be in the mood to allow such a photo again, so we'll just enjoy this one for now. He's a tough negotiator, you know.

And you know I can't forget about the little lady...


Here she is in her little dress from Sunday morning at church. I couldn't get over how cute she looked. I'm definitely loving dresses and look forward to getting her dressed for church on Sunday morning. She's cute all the time, but I can't get enough of her in her little dresses. In fact, she stayed in her dress until bedtime on Sunday night. Nana and Pap made a trip to see the kids after church on Sunday, so I kept her dressed up for them.

Here's the view I get early in the mornings when she either wakes up (or I wake her up which has been the case the past few mornings). She's all snuggled into her miracle blanket and as soon as I say "Good morning", I get the biggest smile. She knows that eating quickly follows...as well as getting out of the baby straight jacket. It's fantastic news when she sees me coming.

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Week #2 of going back to work has been a bit smoother than week #1 so far. I'm adjusting. The kids are adjusting. We're getting by. I'm feeling less frazzled and more together. I'm at least wearing matching shoes. And most days, my shoes even match my outfit. The progress is mind blowing, isn't it? Don't think that I'm not racing home at the end of the day because I definitely am. I can't get into the garage soon enough. But I'm enjoing being at the office, seeing clients, spending time with my staff.

Today I got to go home mid day to meet with a contractor for some estimates on some work at the house, and while I was there I got to feed Lauren (which was good because of a milk spilling incident on my desk yesterday that left me short a few ounces for today's bottles...I don't really want to talk about it. "Don't cry over spilled milk" was my mantra all the way home last night.) Because I was home, Joshua got to have some Play-Doh time with grandma and seemed to really enjoy that.

I'm learning that it's OK if each day is a little different. The new "routine" is that there's less of one, and I'm learning, in all my control freak OCD'ness, that that's perfectly fine. I'm making decisions about what I can and can't do based on how things are going at that exact moment. (Nope...can't attend that board meeting. Sure I can go and look at that house to insure it. Sorry...not a chance that I can be away for a whole day on a weekend. OK, I can work it out so that Lauren and I can make an appearance at the basketball game this weekend to represent State Farm.) It's not quite the way I'm used to working, particularly since "no" wasn't something I said very often, but I'm not having nearly as hard of a time saying "no" as I thought I would. That's been one of the most pleasant surprises of the past two weeks. (Perhaps spending three months with Joshua, who has absolutely no qualms about saying "no" did me some good!)

Blessed by a broken washer...

I usually try to see the blessing in all situations. At least I try. It's something I've been working on.

So, this weekend, I was blessed by a washing machine that officially bit the dust. Met its maker. Kicked the bucket. You get the idea.

After getting back to work last week, keeping up on the ever multiplying pile of dirty clothes was not at the top of the priority list. Last week we were focusing on the necessities- eating, sleeping, keeping noses and bottoms wiped. Luckily I had aniticipated that things might go that way, so I had everything we owned (literally) cleaned and packed away neatly in the drawers it was supposed to be in prior to returning to the office. As it turns out, that was a good call. I'm very sorry to report that everything we own is now in piles in the basement BEGGING to be washed. I had a great plan of attack ready for this weekend until the machine decided to go on a permanent strike.

We purchased a new washer and dryer on Friday evening but it couldn't be delivered until this afternoon. And so the blessing was a great excuse to let those piles keep growing until tonight. I had two whole days without either doing laundry or feeling guilty for not doing laundry. It was a beautiful thing.

The people who sold us the machines told us that it would really cut down on the number of loads I need to do. I am stuck, however, on the fact that washing and drying isn't really the issue. It's the folding and putting away that eats up my time. So let me just say that when they invent the dryer that will fold it and put it into a basket upon drying the garments, I will be the first in line to own one.

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I also have a good Joshua-ism to share. I developed a few favorite shows that I enjoyed watching while home with the kids this fall. It always seemed that I was sitting on my duff feeding Lauren, so the TV was on more times than not. In the 2:00 timeslot, I very much enjoyed Rachael Ray and especially the recipes that she showcased. So anyway, I may have fallen victim to a marketing ploy when I purchased her pots and pans to replace the motley crew of mismatched pieces that were gracing our cupboards. We were forever trying to find lids that went with things and finally just got tired of that dance. So, the snazzy orange handled pots and pans arrived just the other day and we love them.

On Sunday morning before church, I made some blueberry muffins for Joshua. He always enjoys them at Nana's house, so I thought I'd treat him to something he liked. Oddly enough, he didn't eat my muffins nearly as well as he did Nana's. Maybe it's because Nana has this fancy muffin top pan that makes blueberry muffins not much thicker than pancakes. So I told Joshua, jokingly, that I must need to get a fancy muffin top pan like Nana has for him to eat his muffins.

To which he replied....very seriously... "Mommy, you don't need Nana's pans. You just got Rachael's." It was as if he was scolding my shopping habits. And let me tell you...I dont' need that from a three year old!

Interestingly enough, Lauren rolled her eyes at him. I just know she's going to be a great shopping buddy. I'll bet she'll let me get whatever pans I want...as long as I buy her whatever clothes she wants.

A few pictures...

In case you didn't know, there was a parade in our house last evening. I have no earthly clue what occasion we were marking with stepping off our very own parade. But who needs a reason. March on, boys!

One of Joshua's favorite Christmas presents was a toy trumpet (that looks decidedly similar to the real thing). Jason decided to get his real one out of hiding in the basement to play along with him. I laughed. Really hard. Especially when he taught Josh how to play the big trumpet.

During supper, Lauren sat peacefully in her chair just watching us. Well, perhaps I should clarify that a bit. She sat in her chair until she nearly wiggled herself right out of it. I had looked away for a few seconds to take a bite (I know, how dare I?) and when I looked back her little legs were all the way off the front of the seat and she looked quite concerned about where she was headed. Note to self: start using the little harness that goes with the seat.

This was the closest I have come in the past three days to capturing a picture of Joshua. Every time I try, he runs away and I get these streaky photos of a three year old in motion. But at least I got the little stinker inside the frame for THIS one.

And this was how I found Lauren when I walked in from work on Monday afternoon. Looks like she was doing pretty great, huh? I love the hand to the ear. I think she's practicing for her first cell phone, don't you?

It's a learning process.

We're almost three days into our new "Working Mommy" routine. I certainly don't mean to make it sound dramatic and as if it's unbelievably difficult to handle returning to work and having two children. Certainly, it's been done gazillions of times before. But the beauty of a blog is that I get to record how I feel and what I'm experiencing at this exact instant. I'm hoping someday when Joshua and Lauren are dealing with something similar, they'll be able to look back at this little peek into our lives and see how it was for me. Maybe they'll wonder what their old Mom, who likely can't remember what things were like so long ago, did to manage things. They'll probably make fun of me for recording the minute details that I do, but I hope they'll have something to look back on that will show them how deeply loved they are and how every decision we made was arrived at with full regard to their well-being and happiness. Or they'll think that it was so archaic to blog about such things and be embarrassed about the pictures I posted of them.

I thought that, since I now have three big days of experience at this new transition, I ought to share a few of the lessons I've learned. This is, after all, a learning process.

1. There's no promise what time I might arrive at the office anymore.

I used to be a pretty punctual 8:45 arriver. Judy would get there at 8:30 and I had it down to a science that I could be ready to get out the door after alerting her to anything new for the day and our normal catching up. Those days are history my friends. I believe I have arrived at 9:45, 9:10 and 9:35 each of the last three days.

2. I cannot be greedy.

This morning I was selfish and waited until the alarm went off at 5:00 to get out of bed. As it turned out, Miss Lauren was dreaming peacefully, so I did a little happy dance and got into the shower thinking I had hit the jackpot and was ahead of the game WITH some extra shut eye. Remember....5 am! And I'm thinking jackpot. Oh silly Megan...whatever is wrong with you? I emerged from the shower, still gloating from my victory, only to hear shrieks from the smallest member of our family. She was dying of hunger apparently. Unfortunately, said shrieks also woke up her brother. It was 5:41. I was in a bathrobe, hair not even combed yet but wrapped turban style trying to feed Lauren. She was so famished that she didn't even realize that what she was yelling about was RIGHT THERE! Joshua, at this point, was so awake that going back to sleep was not going to happen. However, in my madness, I attempted it anyway only to get frustrated. Why haven't I learned? After Lauren ate, I laid her back down in her crib to go back to sleep like she always does. Wrong again. She was wide awake and wanted to join the rest of the family, making finishing getting dressed and ready for work darn near impossible (nevermind the fact that I had big plans to fold laundry, pump and get dinner ready. Needless to say, things didn't go as planned. So to make a long story short, my selfish greedy sleeping until 5 am led to all manners of disaster this morning. I guess that's not going to work for tomorrow.

3. The crock pot will likely be the Dugan Family MVP of 2010. That is if we're all to be fed daily. I assume that's still an expectation.

And finally...

4. Take a peek at your shoes before you leave the house in the morning.

Today, after all the madness, I was about to walk out the door when I happened to glance downward. I was wearing two different shoes. I decided to change them because I thought that it might send the wrong signal to my clients if I wasn't even together enough to put on two of the same shoes. This was almost as bad as the time I showed up to a State Farm meeting in State College and found when I changed to go out to dinner with the group, that I was walking down College Avenue with two left shoes on my feet. The loving group of friends I was with called me "Lefty" for the rest of the trip.

I'll work on some pictures for tomorrow. Joshua still has a bad attitude about it, but I'll at least work on Lauren.

Our new new normal...

Goodness, I'm missing my baby.

January 4th has always been the day circled on the calendar as the end of my stint as a stay-at-home mom. On one hand, I was excited for today to come. Being out among people and doing what I love to do is such a joy for me. I've missed it over the past few months. I feel blessed to love my work and it's something I feel challenged by every single day. But I love my kids....more than anything in the world, and it has always felt wrong to be without them. It's a feeling I never got used to after going back to work when Joshua was born. Whether it was 3 weeks or 3 years after returning to work, it never felt any less uncomfortable and I was always in a hurry to get home at the end of the day. The feeling continues now. I wonder if that will ever go away. But it certainly has not today. Instead, it's intensified as I sit at the office knowing that both of the kids are at home without me.

We are so lucky that Grandma is available and willing to help us with care during the day. I always say that there are two people on the planet who love our kids like we do---- both of their grandmothers. If they can't have Mommy or Daddy, there's nothing better than a Nana or a Grandma to step in. I don't worry for a second when I'm away. I just miss them.

Lauren took her morning bottle for Grandma without incident. I let out a huge "YAY!" at the office when Judy called to tell me that she had done so well. The burden of worrying about her had been lifted, and now all I needed to wrestle with is my own guilt and the fact that, plain and simple, I miss her. I went home at lunchtime to feed her and may eventually get her to be able to do without me for that feeding as it's necessary. But it wasn't today, so I enjoyed the chance to sneak home, snuggle with Lauren and hear all about Joshua's adventures from the morning.

Joshua seems completely unphased by the change, and I'm so thankful for that. We had a talk this morning about him being a good helper and being patient if Grandma had to help with Lauren when he needed something too. It appears that he did OK with that this morning. I'm so proud of the patience and independence he's learned over the past three months. Most of his progress was born from necessity, and it wasn't a smooth transition for him, but he's come a long way. Unfortunately, he's on a photo strike and will not allow me to take his picture, so hopefully it's OK for you to settle for the ones of the baby until I can negotiate a new photo contract with my three year old.

And so, our new new normal has begun. Thank goodness it's gone far better than I could have imagined. Thanks for any prayers that may have been said on our behalf. And thanks to the One who answered all of mine.