The way I was figuring it, today would have warranted a post in anticipation of Mara's scheduled birthday party early tomorrow morning. But as it turns out, I got a quick lesson in who is in charge...and if I can just cut to the chase, it isn't me.
Last Thursday afternoon, I headed to my normal doctor's appointment and prepared for the usual non stress test and uneventful report about how I wasn't anywhere close to being in labor. It was really OK. If I had imposed any deadlines on this baby, it was to get here before the clock struck midnight on Dec 31st- for the purposes of health insurance deductibles and tax deductions. And once that deadline came and went, I was really OK with waiting until the 11th. In our normal chit chat before my appointment really got going, I mentioned to Dr. Miller that I was pretty proud of myself- because even with a little cheating over the New Year's holiday, my blood sugar numbers were surprisingly good. I knew immediately I had been a bit too free with my bragging, as he said that could actually be a sign of a problem with my placenta. So he sent me to the hospital for a stat ultrasound to check on the a baby and get a good look at what might be going on. Being that this isn't my first rodeo, I was even so bold as to call Jason on the way back upstairs while carrying my report, to tell him that I was pretty sure we were OK since we had an 8 out of a possible 8 on the biophysical profile. A good nonstress test added two more to give us the same 10/10 we had seen a few weeks earlier. However, Dr. Miller had also placed a call to the lab and was told by the technician that my placenta was a hard grade 3, meaning aging and beyond the condition it ought to be in for 39 weeks. And so, he asked us what plans we had for the evening. And before I knew it, I was on my way home to pack the remainder of my hospital bag and say goodbye to the kids. We were delivering between 8-8:30, as soon as the anesthesia team would allow me to have my spinal after having had my snack of an apple with some peanut butter around 2:30.
It all happened so fast, really, that I didn't have time for what was likely to have been a whole lot of worrying about what could happen. Instead, before we knew it, they were wheeling me back to the OR on the labor and delivery floor (never knew there was one of those up there!) and I was being prepped for surgery. We had a terrific anesthesia team who delivered the best spinal I've experienced. In stark contrast to Lauren's delivery where I was on the edge of screaming "timies" the whole time because I was close to being able to feel what was happening. As it turned out, as soon as my spinal was placed and they spun me around to lay me down on the operating table, my water broke. Dr. Miller exclaimed, "Well, what do you know about that?" and then indicated that maybe it was a sign that we were meant to be there that night anyway.
Our sweet baby girl made her entrance into the world at exactly 9:00 pm. She was 6 lb 10 oz and 20" long. At first glance (and keep in mind that I was laying down with a plethora of drugs in my system) I wasn't sure there was a resemblance between her and the other kids, but that quickly changed when I sat up and actually looked at her. She is an almost identical copy of Joshua and Lauren, but most especially Lauren. If we aren't careful to mark baby pictures, I'm not sure we'll really know who is who in a few years when I forget who wore which outfit or sat in which bouncy seat. Because of the late night surprise delivery, I didn't have to go to the recovery room like I normally would have on our 7:00 am delivery time, so as soon as they were done with me in the OR, I was taken directly back to my room on the post partum floor, where Jason, our nurses and baby Mara were waiting for me. I got to hold her and nurse her right away, something I never got to do with the others, and I loved it. I even got to watch her first bath and be a part of all of the stuff that I have missed in the past while I was waiting to feel my feet again.
Perhaps my favorite moment in Mara's delivery story came the next morning when Jason brought the kids to the hospital to meet their baby sister. They were so smitten with her- loving her and smiling and wanting to hold her as much as they could. Lauren was obviously in love immediately. And Joshua, who had shown little interest when Lauren was born, was very intrigued and stepped into his role as the big brother so sweetly. Jason even said he had wanted to wear his nice sweater when he got dressed that morning because he wanted to look nice for me. I had been so worried about him the night before. Our resident worrier (wonder who he takes after there?), he was obviously shaken at the surprise news that I needed to go to the hospital on Thursday night. We had been talking about it, but even he knew that it was not as scheduled. When we walked out the door, he was on the verge of tears, as was I. I was so pleased to see how well he had rebounded and how relieved he was that both his baby sister and I were just fine.
We stayed at the hospital until Saturday early in the afternoon when I had officially had enough of that and decided that I could either be sore at the hospital or at home with my family, and opted for the latter. Jason had sent me a picture of Joshua and Lauren playing at home, and when I burst into tears at how much I missed them, I knew it was time to go. Dr. Miller and Lewisburg Pediatrics gave us the all clear and we were quickly packing our belongings to get out of there. My mom was kind enough to offer to stay with us on Saturday night to help Jason with the kids, so I placed myself on the couch and took to the business of feeding Mara and resting as much as I could. Mom was a lifesaver- and I think we all really enjoyed having Nana here to share in Mara's coming home day/night.
The kids have done so well. Lauren has had a few moments, but in all honesty, she's good for a few "moments" on a normal day. Joshua returned to school yesterday wearing his "Big Brother" shirt and was so proud. Mara has been a wonderful baby so far, other than a little feeding issue we're having over the past 24-48 hours. She is on a complete nursing strike after having nursed like a champ from late Friday evening on. As jaundice begins to set in, our ability to wait it out and let her work it out on her own are dwindling, which is causing supply issues and other stresses. It's deja vu all over again just like when Joshua was born, and although I am quite disappointed and feeling a bit of a breastfeeding failure at the moment, I'm trying to focus on the blessing of this sweet baby girl and not so much on what my expectations for how everything was going to go once we got home were. We haven't given up, but I am definitely on the edge of needing to make a decision as the pumping I'm doing is already having a major negative impact on my supply. But, if you want the bright side, she sleeps like a dream, never cries, and is the cuddliest baby ever. And I'm so in love.
I have to say, as well, that I am super blessed to have Jason home with us through the delivery and this whole week. He has been an absolute champ with the kids- putting them both to bed, getting them up and dressed, dropping off and picking up at school, carrying laundry up and down and running countless errands and dealing with things that are nowhere close to as organized as we usually like. But so far, being a family of 5 feels exactly right- like Mara is the final piece of our family that we have been waiting for.
Enjoy a few pictures from her birthday and the days following...
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