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To put it mildly, it has been a pretty crummy birthday for Mara today.  I actually feel really badly, because I attributed her horrendous behavior and worse-than-usual stubbornness about finishing her supper last night to her trying to get her last little bit of being three and acting like a fool before the calendar page turned to January 5th.  As it turned out, I believe she was working her way into a nasty stomach bug, as evidenced by the fact that I was doing all of the laundry from her bedding at 11:00 last night and then scrambling to find enough extras to keep the both of us warm on the exceptionally cold night.  She was up most of the night throwing up and just feeling awful-- which meant that I was too.  She came downstairs this morning, selected her spot on the couch with her pillow and blanket, and asked for Disney Jr.  And then promptly fell back to sleep.  I found her on the same couch when I got home from work, napping again.  She perked up for a birthday present, and then seemed to start feeling better.  After a bath and some play time with a new Baby Alive doll she wanted for her birthday, she asked for a Nutri Grain bar and some orange juice before bed, and then was zonked in a matter of minutes when we went upstairs.  I feel terrible that she had such a yucky birthday...but I guess that's just how it goes sometimes. 

 

We talked a lot tonight about the night that she was born.  Mara always gets a kick out of hearing the story about how she surprised us by being born earlier than we had planned for her to come.  This is definitely a girl who enjoys calling the shots-- and I somehow suspect that it will be like that for the rest of our days.  She is the child who pushes me to my limits with her tenacity and her stubborn attitude and her sass and spunk.  But she is also the child who melts me when she cuddles in my lap, or gives me a kiss on the cheek, or asks to help me do whatever it is I am doing.  She is fire and she is sweetness all wrapped up into one complicated, complex, adorable little 34 pound package.  I do not know what life was like without her anymore.  And I wouldn't want to.  She has completed our family in a way that only she could. 

 

These last 4 years have been  so full of so much.  I am beyond grateful for the opportunity to love my daughter with my whole heart.