When you're three...

When you're three and you're exhausted, the way you handle it is apparently to thrash around on your Mama's lap until she is about two seconds away from losing her marbles. 

When she puts you in your bed (so she doesn't lose said marbles) you should definitely scream at the top of your lungs, over and over again, "I want to go downstairs" until your face is red, you are sweating, and you nearly choke on your own spit. 

Then, just for good measure, and to prove to this Mama who is desperately trying to keep the tone of the situation calm (at least on her end) that you mean business, you should come as close as you can to vomitting without actually doing it. That really throws Moms for a loop--- wait, is she sick?  Or is this part of the three year old manipulation tactics?

You see, when you're three (and a half), you have the stamina of an Olympic marathon runner when it comes to temper tantrums and holding fast to your wishes when you're told "no".  It doesn't really matter if what you want is important, or super silly...you make a Federal case out of it and stand your ground no matter what. Trying to tell you it is not OK to eat a Little Debbie for breakfast....watch me protest. Try to suggest a nap as a remedy for exhaustion....I can scream for an hour. Don't believe me?  Well watch this!

After all of this has unfolded, leaving your Mama considering options like wine, leftover whiskey slush from Christmas, and running away from home, when you're three, the next logical step is to ask your Mama if she will snuggle you. And crazy as it may sound, she will agree. Partly to make you be quiet, but mostly because she hates having to be tough with you. She hates knowing that you are upset, whether reasonably or otherwise, and wishes it wasn't her job to have to teach your three year old self that that kind of behavior isn't how you go about convincing people to do things your way. She will rock with you while you doze off, remembering how you used to fit so much better into her lap, how she would feed you and rock you and dream of days when you were bigger and able to do more things, while at the same time praying that you stay small like this forever. She will kiss your sweet little sweaty head, smile at you when you peek to see if she is still serious about making you take a nap, and try not to think about all of the things she is supposed to be doing while you "rest".

And then, when you're really asleep, that Mama who loves you so very much will tuck you into your bed until you wake up much more like your happy, smiley self. 

Being three is tough. But so is being a three year old's Mama.