Anticipation

Upon waking from his nap on Sunday afternoon, Daddy greeted Joshua with his firetruck tent in the living room. You can see its size...not huge, but good enough when you're two. However, I'm sorry to say that there are no pictures of ALL THREE of us in the tent at the same time. That must have looked awfully silly.

The pictures above and the title of my post really have little to do with each other, so I figured I should warn you not to try to connect the two. We all have enough on our minds without those kinds of stresses, don't we?

It's safe to say that I've always been one of those people who almost enjoys looking forward to something as much as I enjoy the thing itself. Examples: Thursday is my favorite day of every week. Why? Because I love that feeling of anticipation in all of the plans for the weekend, anticipating a few family days without the hassle of balancing our other responsibilities in the mix. I've always loved Christmas Eve, because of the anticipation of Christmas morning and all that means to me. (It doesn't hurt that we also get to spend time with about 30 of my favorite people on the planet at our family party and eat a boat load of food.) I love preparing for parties, holidays, time with friends, etc. And that's, I think, why pregnancy seems to hold such allure for me. It's the anticipation of having a front row seat to God's most precious miracle playing itself out right in front of us. And the fact that he blesses us as moms and dads to experience it the way we do is nothing short of amazing to me.

I've been keeping my big mouth shut about the wonderful news we got a few weeks ago at least on the blog because there were still a few people who didn't know yet who have told me that they follow the website every now and again. I figured I owed it to everyone not to share this kind of news on our blog. But now that the beans are officially spilled, I thought it safe to share some thoughts about the great anticipation I'm feeling.

The idea of being a mom to TWO children, especially when Joshua still seems like he needs us so much, frankly scares the daylights out of me. As a few weeks have passed, that deer-in-the-headlights terror seems to be fading a bit and I'm coming out of the fog of disbelief. I know that God gives us more grace and more strength when we need it. (I'm thinking this may come in to play in those wee hours of the morning when I have a screaming newborn...AND a screaming toddler who has been awoken by his screaming brother or sister.) But in all seriousness, as I've thought about it, I've come to the realization that sharing a bit of our attention will be a good thing for Joshua. Right now, he's the center of our universe, and he knows it. It'll be good for him to have a year or so before he goes to preschool to experience one on one life with a sibling. It'll be challenging, but it'll be an amazing blessing. I don't remember being scarred for life or hurt when my baby sister came home...in fact, I remember that being one of the proudest days of my life. I very proudly took a picture of my sister with me to nursery school to show her off to all my friends. I'm hoping Joshua will enjoy it as much as I did.

It's looking as though this little blessing will make his or her appearance around the beginning of October right before we celebrate Joshua's 3rd birthday. (I should note that we are the third baby that will be coming into the Richard family before Christmas---- we're joking already that we'll need a nursery to house all of the babies and baby paraphernalia at the family Christmas parties. Stacie and Noah will be welcoming a baby at the end of July. Cory and Shannon are due September 30th and us on October 6th. This is a little wild!) I'm still a little skeptical on the dating for us, but we'll have a better idea once we see our doctor on the 18th and can take a peek at an ultrasound. I'm six weeks along today, so although we have a long way to go, we're thankful for everyone's prayers for the baby. I'm feeling less than 100%, although it's all par for the course at this point. I've got constant nausea that escalates through most afternoons. The only way I can keep from losing my lunch (or breakfast, or supper) is to keep my stomach full pretty much all the time. Not good for the dieter, but I'd rather be fat than sick.

Joshua is quite excited about the idea of a baby coming to our house, although I'm not entirely sure he grasps the enormity of what's going to happen. Right now he's focused on picking a brother AND a sister (I keep explaining that we don't do things that way in our family, but he insists) and talking about all the things he's going to do with the baby when they come. I guess that's about all we can ask for out of a not-even two and a half year old.

Many huge questions remain that will take much thought and prayer. To find out the gender or not? (I'm pulling for a surprise and Jason is 100% NOT in favor of that at all. I may lose that one miserably because, frankly, it'll be hard to say "No, we don't want to know. when the ultrasound tech says he's got a clear money shot...especially when I know how badly Jason wants to know. And Libby too. Lib, you're doing jumping jacks at the idea of finding out, aren't you?) Repeat c-section or VBAC? That's a tough one for me because I know there are big risks involved here. But, I'm still convinced that my c-section had something to do with my inability to nurse Joshua and that's the one thing that traumatized me after his birth, but we'll see. I have a long way to go on that one. And names....oh my goodness the name debate. We didn't do well with this the first time. Hopefully this will be easier, although our discussions thus far have not ended in agreement.

So my mind is full. My heart is full to overflowing with love that I feel for this little person I've yet to meet. I just feel so blessed. I'm praying for a safe and healthy growing baby when we get to peek at him or her next Wednesday afternoon. Thanks for your prayers and your well wishes. And so we wait...and anticipate with great joy.