Courage & Confessions

If you ask my opinion, this is a true depiction of courage when it comes to a 2 year old. Grandma came this morning with a bag of craft goodies for Joshua. He immediately locked onto the wooden bear cutout and asked to paint it. Luckily, I had some kids paints in the basement, so we set him up with a sponge brush and the orange paint he selected and let him go to town. I think both Judy and I were impressed with his determination and relative accuracy at putting the paint where he wanted it to go. I knew this was a hit when the child who I have been peeling off of my body to leave for work in the morning didn't even bother to say goodbye. He was enthralled with his painting. Looks like I'll be making a trip to a store specializing in wooden things that children can paint on. Money well spent...

And I also thought I should confess that, at the six week mark from our scheduled meeting with our daughter, the not-so-glamorous parts of my personality are starting to rear their ugly heads. The good news is that "Mean Megan" who we met around 37 weeks in pregnancy #1 has not been coming around. However, the emotional Megan has been. It all started with a complete and total emotional breakdown to my Mom on the phone on Monday night. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm a complete loon, except for the fact that she probably gets it even without any discussion from me. She's my mom, after all. I have absolutely no explanation for it and can do nothing but apologize. There was no rational reason for it. But, rational is really not my specialty these days. I recognized that there was a pattern developing when I was quite literally sobbing on the way to work this morning listening to the country song on the radio about "When I bow my head tonight...". It's a really great song, I know that. But the part that got me was that he said, "just watch my wife and kids, please Lord." Kids. Plural. That's what did me in. I'm going to have two kids. I'm going to be able to say the plural. Be a mom of 2. And while I know that's a lot to take in, there's really no rationale that explains why it hit me like it did this morning. So watch out everyone....there's no telling how this might go. I was prepared for Mean Megan, but this emotional train wreck stuff is not quite what I was expecting...and certainly not so soon. The good news is that six weeks from today we'll have her here with us...likely in my arms or Daddy's (or the arms of someone who has come to visit us). I just might cry thinking about it. (Just kidding.)