Simple Joys...

Wearing Daddy's sweatshirt...and cracking himself up.

I had intended to post far sooner than this, but this week has gotten away from me a bit. Actually a lot.

I had intended to post about our very own version of "Joshua and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" that we lived through as a family on Monday. But it was a bit dramatic, and may have sounded a bit like I was complaining about my job as Mother to this usually wonderful little boy. And I know that isn't worth recording for the sake of posterity. The only hint I'll give you into the depth of our despair on Monday is that I ended up sleeping on the floor of Joshua's room in the wee hours of the morning (when I so desperately wanted a morning to sleep in...until 7...I didn't think I was asking for too much) using a waytoosmall blanket to cover myself with and a Pound Puppy as a pillow. It got no better than that the entire day. But I'm done now. Wouldn't want to dwell on the negative.

Instead, I'll tell you about the best laugh I've had in a while, granted to Jason and I last evening by our son. We were all watching a bit of TV after supper and had it turned to the George Strait special that was on. Neither Jason or I are big George Strait fans, but I did realize that I knew just about every song that was sung...so maybe I like him more than I think I do. But anyway...

Joshua had decided at supper time that he wanted to wear his socks on his hands. It originally began with him pretending that he was cooking something, and I believe it was too hot to pick up with bare hands. And so......makeshift oven mits. (There's no lack of imagination here.) He proceeded, then, to leave said socks on his little hands for the remainder of the night. He was in his glory when the George Strait show started, because just about every single artist who performed did so with their guitar. And when Josh sees a guitar (or any instrument, for that matter) he has to get his matching one out (or something that could function as that instrument) and "play along". The only bad part for us was that his guitar is quite loud, and plays music that is nowhere close to the same as what the people were playing on TV. So while he played, we nudged the volume up a bit to drown out the "When The Saints Go Marching In" (hard rocker style) and the other Little Tykes classics that this gem of a toy plays. He was playing and singing and dancing along with every person who got up there. We nearly died when Jamie Fox was singing and using his hands a bit more than the other country singers, because Joshua's arms got very animated as well. He was trying so hard to imitate exactly what the others were doing.

Randomly, he kept coming over to me after the songs were done and giving me the sweetest hugs. I swear, I wanted to eat him up. It just melted my heart that he loved me so much that he just had to hug me and couldn't wait a second longer to do it.

Except that after the third or fourth time that it happened, I thanked him for my hug and asked him why I was getting so many special hugs tonight. He looked at me, so seriously....and said, "Mommy....I'm just doing what the singers are doing." (As if to say, "Well duh, Mom. Where have YOU been?") Then I realized that after each song on TV, each of the singers would go over and give George Strait a hug. Talk about bursting a mom's bubble. But it didn't last long as I doubled over in hysterics, trying desperately not to pee my pants. Remember, I'm 21 weeks pregnant! The bladder isn't something we mess with at this stage of the game. What a joy he is.

And somehow, the kink I still have in my neck from my night with the Pound Puppy doesn't bother me so much.

Circus Fun & Other Things

We've been planning for a few months now to take Joshua to see the circus when it came to visit Hershey. There has been lots of talk about animals and clowns and all things circus leading up to this Saturday, and I think it worked. The first words out of Joshua's mouth when he awoke on Saturday morning were, "Can we go to the circus now?"

We arrived just in time to get parked and have a chance to visit the animals outside in their prep area. Joshua particularly enjoyed the elephants...especially since the handlers were using lawn blowers to blow the dirt and sand off of them in preparation for the show. (Leave it to Josh to spot lawn equipment and lock in on it!)

Inside the arena, they had a very close-up pre show that Joshua seemed to enjoy. It was a bit chaotic for my liking, but we did OK. Jason ended up putting Joshua up on his shoulders for a better look at the one ring where an elephant came out for the kids to see up close.

Joshua did very well during the circus itself. It was about two hours long, and we could tell he was starting to get tired toward the end. He definitely was, as you can see in the picture below. How he managed to fall asleep with all of that music playing (I believe my ears are STILL ringing) and stay asleep while Jason carried him out of the arena with 6 million screaming children, into the hot sun and all the way to our car defies all logic. Unfortunately, my hopes of a nap all the way home were dashed when his eyeballs opened upon sitting him in his car seat. Luckily, I had a cooler with a lunch in it for him that he ate on the way home. And that DVD player once again saved our butts......

I don't believe I've posted about this yet, but Joshua has had a real interest in planting marigolds this year. He saw something about planting flowers on Max & Ruby, and it's stuck. I kept promising him that when the weather got nice, we'd plant flowers together. So Saturday night was the night. We stopped at a little flower stand on our way home from Hershey, and then picked up the dirt that we needed, and got to planting right after dinner. You can see Joshua with his proud marigolds. I thought it was adorable. Jason was a bit concerned about his interest in something slightly non-masculine, like flower planting....but he was mostly interested in digging in the dirt, which I rank in the masculine category mostly.

Ever since our crazy day on Saturday, we've been hanging around the house together. Joshua and I did go to church on Sunday, but since then we've mostly been playing outside. He helped Jason and both of our neighbors cut their grass this morning for well over an hour and a half. He has since boycotted his nap, and I'm sure will turn into a blubbering mess before dinner time is done. The only good part about no nap.........an earlier bedtime.

I'm drafting a post in my head at this point about what my plans were for today (Monday) and what they actually ended up looking like. Hopefully tomorrow that'll make it on here. For now, Jason and Joshua are outside playing and I don't want to miss too much of that.

Happy Memorial Day!

If you're a kangaroo...or a two year old...

...would this not be one of the most exciting things you've ever seen?

Joshua was lucky enough to be the recipient of an invitation to participate in the christening of Sydney's new jumper last evening. The thing was hardly even out of the box and blown up before we gave it the test of not one, but TWO, two year olds.

I have to tell you- Sydney is a pro jumper. She's made for this thing. Joshua, on the other hand, was a bit tentative (as he is in most things that are new to him). He just stood in it and let Sydney bounce for the both of them. Then he realized how much fun it is to get in and out of it via the slide on the front, so he did that a few thousand times. Then he realized that there was a motor that was making it blow up.....and that took the cake. He had to examine it, and then examine the rest of the way the jumper was constructed. I said to Darla at one point that if he had brought his tools, he'd have had that thing torn apart. He eventually did some jumping, but Sydney took the gold medal if we're handing them out for performances.

Darla and I did a little catching up while the kids played. With two babies in our bellies that will quite literally be a month or less apart in age, we've got a lot to discuss. And our time to do so is far too short, and too far in between. So that was a nice mommy treat while the kids bounced their brains out.

And the old will become new again...

My husband had a moment of brilliance last evening. Not that he isn't brilliant a lot of the time, but this one qualifies for brilliant status on its very own merit.

Joshua has a fascination with garbage trucks. He always has. This is why he religiously stands at the windows on Tuesdays and Fridays when the garbage trucks make their rounds in our neighborhood. He'll tell you (with great enthusiasm) how the garbage man puts the garbage in the truck and then pushes the button and makes the garbage truck eat the garbage "all UP!"

He has had a toy Tonka garbage truck for about a year that he loved to play with, and has most recently found itself in the "sometimes played with" pile.

So last night, Joshua had missed his Daddy so much that he won "play with me" status. (I sat on my ever expanding pregnant duff and looked at a magazine. I may or may not have also eaten a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream.....only me, the scale, and the nurse at Dr. Miller's office will know if I DID or DID NOT indulge in that way). They must have gotten into playing with the garbage truck, because pretty soon the tools came out and batteries were being changed.

And then came the brilliant moment. Jason showed Joshua how to use the automatic part of the truck to actually dump garbage into the back of the garbage truck. We ripped up the little useless subscription cards in my magazine to make "garbage" and Joshua proceeded to dump and undump said garbage until I quite literally pulled him away from the truck to take a bath. He requested that we hurry up and get him dressed quickly this morning because he had "work to do with the garbage truck". And who was I to interfere by suggesting that he do such things as get dressed and brush his teeth?

And so...the old became new again. And quickly rose to status of favorite toy due to Daddy's great idea.

Wow! What a weekend!

First item of business upon arriving at Nana and Pap's..........DIRT PILE!


The gang from our second annual Cousins Day celebration. Last year, Brooke was in Libby's belly and neither Stacie or I knew we'd be the next!

She makes my heart melt with that smile...

Joshua and Pap wearing their identical State Farm hats.

Joshua playing "Put the Bink in Baby Anna's Mouth" with the kids at Stacie's baby shower on Sunday.

Too much partying for Joshua = I sacked out little boy. I think he'd still be sleeping if I hadn't woken him up!

We're home from our whirlwind weekend in Lewistown and had a wonderful time. It's never a bad thing when your days are jam packed full of parties, tractor rides with Pap, movie time and spending time with Brooke and Aunt Libby.

Joshua and I got to Mom and Dad's late morning on Saturday and Joshua immediately made a bee-line for the dirt pile that Pap had in the driveway. It took all of my might to get Joshua OUT of the dirt, and into the car to head to Aunt Libby's for our Cousins' Day festivities.

The "Richard Girls" (although funny, because very few of us are still Richard Girls by name any more) started an awesome tradition last year with the surprise gathering that Jason and Libby started as a birthday gift to me. We've now managed, two years in a row, to get all of the girl cousins together for a little party. We do what Richards are really good at------ we eat, we tell stories, we catch up, we laugh, we eat and we giggle some more. It's a wonderful time...quickly becoming my favorite Richard tradition of the year. I don't think any of us take for granted the fact that we have each other, that our families raised us to be as close as we are, and that it's remained a priority to all of us to keep that connection over the years as our lives have taken us in different directions.

We spent the evening at Nana and Pap's enjoying the kids. Joshua had his second tractor ride of the weekend while Brooke and I did some catching up. Libby and I had the brilliant idea to give the kids a bath together that evening, which ended in sheer disaster. The photo opportunity I had hoped for seemingly wasn't meant to be since both of the kids were quite literally screaming their heads off. Brooke was unhappy about the big bathtub that she wasn't accustomed to. Joshua was unhappy about his sore bottom from a bad diaper rash and refused to even sit down. Libby and I could do nothing but hurry the heck up and get them out of the tub before even more chaos ensued. My dad, at one point in all of this madness, came upstairs and peeked his head in the door to ask us, "What are you DOING to those children?"

Sunday morning, we got up and went to church with my parents. Joshua behaved like a little gentleman and sat still through the entire sermon. On the way out of church, he mentioned to the pastor that he enjoys shaking Pastor Jamie and Pastor Dave's hands at his church. Good to know.

We spent the afternoon, following a tractor ride with Pap, at Stacie's baby shower to help her celebrate baby Anna's upcoming arrival. Joshua and the other children were a little on the rambunctious side for my liking, so he spent the majority of the afternoon being wrangled by his very mean Mommy. We got to visit with a whole bunch of family members who were also there, so that was a lot of fun.

The evening rounded out at Nana and Pap's house with meatballs for supper, some more special time with Brooke and Aunt Libby and then an off season showing of the Polar Express (gasp!) in Club Bob thanks to Pap. I have told my father that the first temper tantrum that gets thrown due to the rules at OUR house being different than the ones at HIS will be shared with him via photographs, cell phone or an in person delivery of the screaming banchee right to his doorstep. In any case, Joshua had a blast watching the movie, and it can be safely confirmed that he does, in fact, still LOVE that movie.

We got in the car to come home about 10 this morning and made it home and unpacked before Grandma's arrival at noon. I found myself in the office by 1. The only remnant of our whirlwind weekend is a monstrous pile of laundry that wouldn't usually be there until about Wednesday, but we'll get to work on that tonight. What a fun weekend it was.

And now, this week's countdown begins until Joshua gets to go to the circus on Sunday. We can't wait!

Pastor Dave

This is my new favorite Joshua face. It's the face he makes when you tell him something that interests him. For example, "Joshua, do you remember that tonight you'll get to help Daddy mow the grass?" And then this is the look you get.

This picture leads me to the title of my post. This firefighter puppet came home with us from FAO Schwartz for Joshua to enjoy. He finds it hysterical when Jason makes him talk, and especially when he makes him pop out from underneath a table, counter, or from around the corner. Fantastic giggles ensue.

On Sunday evening, I asked Joshua what he'd like to name his fireman. His answer..."Pastor Dave".

Perhaps I should clarify that the highlight of Sunday was Joshua's opportunity to shake hands with both Pastor Dave and Pastor Jamie, the pastors at the church we've been attending since January of this year and that will become our permanent church home as soon as possible. It's awesome there! Evidently, Joshua thought there was a resemblance between his puppet and Pastor Dave. In his defense, they do both have mustaches. However in all of our Sundays attending church and getting to know people there, I've never seen him wear a fireman's hat or coat.

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You can probably tell how behind I am this week when post that began with Sunday evening material is just getting posted on Thursday. That's just been how it's gone this week. We've spent our evenings outside with the lawn mower. Joshua's new found love (and undeniable NEED) to help Jason anytime he's doing anything involving machinery that could clearly kill him has equated to me needing to be outside during these chore times as well. I'll never grumble about being with the family...it's just that it's resulted in some shuffling and reappropriation in terms of the inside work that needed to be done.

Add to that the fact that the house didn't get cleaned last week due to the New York trip, and you'll get one Megan in one nasty tailspin with one extra large to-do list.

Add to THAT the fact that Joshua and I are leaving again on Saturday morning not to return until Monday morning. And there is dirt in places in the house where there shouldn't be. So there are a few things to get done prior to our departure. The good news is that it's all getting done, little by little and one thing at a time.

A Grandma doctor's appointment tomorrow morning buys us grocery shopping time. And if I'm lucky, I'll have completely gotten through the house cleaning by the end of the evening tonight.

We're looking VERY forward to spending some time in Lewistown this weekend. It's been far too long since Brooke and I have talked, so we need to do that. And Joshua is itching for a tractor ride with Pap. So hopefully we can do a whole bunch of both of those things. We'll be partying with the Richard cousins at our 2nd Annual Cousins Day event on Saturday and then celebrating the impending arrival of baby Anna on Sunday afternoon. In between those things- lots of Aunt Libby and Nana and Pap time, for sure.

There will likely be pictures......and lots of them.

Mother's Day

There was the Mother's Day progression....photo style. Above are photos of all three of the Mother's Days I've gotten to celebrate as a mommy. Joshua was only about 7 months old in the first picture. It's fun to watch my little buddy getting bigger and bigger each year. And the idea of adding another little bundle next year makes my heart smile.

What a handsome little guy he looked like yesterday all decked out in his sweater vest. We had a great day...albeit a quiet one. Joshua and I headed to church, where he gave me the gift of getting to listen to a sermon for the first time in months. He wanted to go in with the kids, but insisted that I would need to stay with him, which I refused to do. So he stayed in church with me, ate a lollipop and some pretzels and didn't make a peep through the whole service. Happy Mother's Day to me. Another nice surprise was the rolling and fluttering I was feeling through the service as well from the littlest Dugan. I'll never cease to be amazed at the feeling of life inside me and the reminder that it is of the gift God has given to us in our children. Before we even have a chance to lay eyes on them, know who they look like, or what their little lives will turn into...God gives us the gift of feeling their life as it grows.

We spent the afternoon cutting grass outside, and finally (after a fight) Joshua took a nap. That allowed some time to get dinner started and do a few loads of laundry. It's back to business as usual at our house, can you tell?

I had my normal doctor's appointment for the baby this morning. The reports back to Dr. Miller indicated the same things that they told me at our appointment a few weeks ago. No visible signs of Trisomy 18, but they needed to take another peek around 22 weeks to confirm that nothing was more evident once the baby was bigger. We have that follow up appointment at Geisinger on June 4th, and then our regular ultrasound at the doctor's office on June 9th. Two sets of trained eyes on the subject within a week of each other---- great news as far as I'm concerned. I continue to grow- gained a few pounds (blah blah blah)......they didn't seem interested in my explanation of how being in New York probably contributed to those 3 pounds. Hmmmm. But everything is in check and looking good.

Not too much else to report from here for today. It's great to be back at work digging out from a few days away. I'm already counting down the days to Cousins Day and Stacie's baby shower in Lewistown this weekend. I'm in need of a Brooke fix in a BAD BAD way.

Happy Monday everyone!

The Country Mouse is Home

It's true that there's no place like home...and I'm even more sure of that after spending a couple days in New York City.

It was really nice to get away for a few days, and we'd have been fools to pass up an opportunity to enjoy the city in the way we were afforded thanks to the investment company who hosted Jason there along with about 100 other financial advisors from across the country. We got to stay in a famous, old, glamorous hotel....awesome. Just walking into the lobby of this place made you feel special.


Jason and I had a chance to leave a bit earlier than planned, get into the city without me having a panic attack (although I'll admit it was a close call.......who on earth DRIVES in a place like that....oh yeah, that'd be us!!), and then had an opportunity to spend the afternoon walking around the city together. We hit FAO Schwartz for Joshua and picked up a few goodies for him. We scouted out a few other hot spots that I had wanted to see, and appreciated seeing with him. Then we ducked into a little restaurant just in the nick of time as some of the biggest raindrops I have ever seen came from the clouds. We were among the lucky ones under cover--- but it was partially humorous to see the peoplel scrambing outside the cafe window. We were slightly concerned about our likelihood of contracting the swine flu while in this establishment, however. It was completely run by Mexicans and there was a gentleman who was clearly sick, sweating, and hacking up a lung at the table behind us. So far, we are symptom free. And frankly, I'll take my chances as opposed to being out in that storm. It still rained the rest of our walk back to the Waldorf, but we managed.



We got cleaned up and then headed down for a drink in a little lounge in the hotel--- Sir Larry's or Harry's or something along those lines. Don't worry...I enjoyed 2 ginger ales (for $7) while Jason imbibed on some martinis. I shudder to tell you, but they were each $20. We nearly fainted at the bill. The interesting part was that both of us looked up at one point and said, at the same time..."Isn't that Mallory?" (as in, Justine Bateman from Family Ties). As it turns out, it was Mallory. She was talking with a man in the bar about auditions and plans she has that she'd like to get involved with. It made us giggle to have had a celebrity sighting so soon in our trip.



The highlight of the trip was our dinner on Thursday evening. We had arranged for a car to take us to Trump International Hotel to eat dinner at Jean Georges-- a pretty highly acclaimed New York restaurant. We knew we had picked a good one when the concierge at the Waldorf looked impressed when we asked him what time we should leave the hotel for our 7:45 reservation. The dinner was simply amazing. We both love to eat, and appreciate a good dinner. This one, without a doubt, topped any I've ever had. The food was fancy, but recognizable. The filet I had was hands down the best I have ever eaten. Dessert was to die for. We were dressed up, enjoying each others' company, and having a blast. Who cares that the car ride cost us $96 each way. (Yikes!)



Friday morning, Jason headed off into his meetings while I met my cousin Danaca and her girlfriend Christine for a day together in the city. Danaca had scouted out a great brunch place which we all loved. We hopped on and off the subway like pros (she was a pro, I just followed and did everything she did) and got to everywhere I had hoped to go. We went to the World Trade Center site, saw Statue of Liberty from Battery Park, went to Rockefeller Center and met Matt Lauer (if he looks a bit like cardboard in the picture, don't mind that), ate a cupcake from the Magnolia Bakery and did some more shopping. My feet were KILLING me by the time I got back to the room and had to get dressed for dinner.







Our Friday night dinner was at the University Club, an Ivy League only exclusive club. The architecture was amazing. We found ourselves just wandering around looking at everything and admiring the fact that we were actually inside a place like that. The food was good....but the atmosphere took the cake on that one.



Saturday morning, we knew it was time to come home when my french toast and Jason's eggs benedict cost us $70. I'd had enough of city living at that point. In the car we went, and I could not wait to get home to Joshua. I can't describe how I hate to be away from him, although any of you with children understand that feeling. But we managed. Jason and I got some much needed time together, but I was most certainly ready to get home. From the reports we got, Joshua couldn't have cared less that we were gone. He did, however, have some amazing hugs for us when we got in the door. He was too excited to nap yesterday, but did manage to fall asleep on the way to Walmart when we went for groceries yesterday afternoon. Gotta love the sunglasses in the picture, right?

So all's well that ends well. Let's just say that it's not likely that we'll be moving to New York City any time soon. The peace and quiet of our little, boring life appeals to me greatly. But it was nice to be among the cool and urban for a few days...not that I fit in in the slightest. But it was fun to pretend.

Let's just say the Country Mouse is glad to be home!

The Dugans Take Manhattan

Not THAT Dugan.

The Grown Up Dugans.

I thought I should post a quick update before we head to the big city tomorrow for a few days away in New York. Yes, I'm panicked about leaving Joshua for two nights. But we didn't think it was a real good idea to take him to the Waldorf Astoria, nor to the two fancy dinners that we're attending while we're there. He'll do MUCH better with Nana (Thursday and Thursday night) and Grandma (Friday and Friday night). I'm betting that I'll be anxious to get home to him on Saturday, but I think Jason and I will have an awesome time getting away for a couple of days.

The cause of the trip is a conference that Jason needs to attend there on Friday. I'll be meeting up with my cousin, Danaca, to tour the city. We had planned to visit the Today Show on Friday morning, but have squelched those plans due to the summer concert series beginning on Friday morning for which people are already camping out. It's the New Kids On The Block (yep Lib.....no kidding) which I think I can do without. So who knows what we'll get into during the day, but I'm sure it'll be fun.

Friday evening, we have a dinner to attend at the University Club which ought to be a highlight for sure. Then we'll get up Saturday morning, get some breakfast and head back home to our favorite little man, and one tired Grandma.

I'll do my best to get some pictures of our adventures.

In other news, Baby Dugan has decided that they LOVE english muffins with strawberry jelly. A lot. I must confess that I have been through a package of english muffins already since Friday with no end in sight. I just may pack them along with me to the Waldorf. It could be worse, I suppose. But that's right up there with the BMT and meatball subs at Subway. Oh I do love those too. (I know I shouldn't be eating deli meat, but that's one pregnancy rule I've ignored both times around.)

I'll return again on Saturday or Sunday....once I recover from the pile of laundry we accumulate from being gone a few days. And once I'm done loving my buddy from having missed him terribly. On second thought, you might not see me until Monday.

I owe you an update...

I promised an update about our visit to Geisinger on Friday morning. The weekend has flown by and left me without much "updating" time. I believe the appropriate (though succinct) text messages and the few phone calls I was able to make on Friday got the main idea of our visit out to those who were praying. So here are the details.

Jason and I were pleasantly surprised to hear our name called to go back for our ultrasound scan 10 minutes BEFORE our appointment. The excitement was dashed when we sat in the hallway for 40 minutes waiting for a room and a tech. We were finally taken in around 12 to start our scan. The tech measured and measured and measured...although talked us through most of it while she did it....for about an hour. I was asking questions about the things I know to look for about T18 babies, looking for any kind of reassurance she could give us. She wasn't giving much. The baby was very active, a good sign. But that also meant that it was hard to gather the pictures in the kind of detail we needed to get any kind of positive encouragement about the baby's health.

Every good thing we saw got taken away or mitigated by something else. We saw a four chamber heart pumping away beautifully, but the septal wall is still fuzzy on the screen, so there's no way to guarantee that there is no hole in the heart. We saw open fingers (on both hands), but they were waving and wiggling, so there was no way to count all 10. We saw little feet that the doctor said she "likes the shape of" (ie. not appearing to be clubbed feet), but again the wiggling got in the way of counting all ten. We saw a stomach that had fluid in it, so that meant the baby could swallow. But we couldn't get into more detail with the stomach or intestines to know for sure that they're all in the right place. We saw kidneys, but they couldn't be sure that there were no cysts there to be concerned about. The tech and the doctor both said that the brain looked good- everything was measuring correctly and they couldn't see any cysts or fluid or other scary things that they're looking for there. Arm and leg bones looked beautifully straight.

We did learn, or have clarified, that my risks for Trisomy 18 are actually higher this time than they were with Joshua. Joshua was 1 in 41, and this baby is appearing to be 1 in 33. The doctor had my blood test results side by side and said she couldn't believe how close these results were. She said that gave her a little more confidence for us because it may just be something about ME! Hallelujah to that. BUT......they couldn't give us any more than about a 70-80% assurance that things are OK until they scan again and do a fetal echocardiogram in 5 weeks. That is scheduled for June 4th.

I left there feeling more positive than I did when I got there, so I guess that was progress. We're still scared, and both Jason and I feel like we've been through the wringer twice now with these scares. Neither of us are sure that we could ever do this again. If we are blessed with two healthy, beautiful babies, I believe that'll be all the farther we go. It's gut wrenching to go through this, but we're walking through the best we can.

Everyone (Mark at Dr. Miller's office, Dr. Miller, the ultrasound tech and Dr. Schucker at Geisinger) seems to say that time is what we need. Time for the baby to get bigger so that everything can be seen with more clarity. I suspect that, between now and June 4th, we will be given an opportunity to have our "regular" ultrasound that non-troubled people like us get to have around 20 weeks with Mark. It may seem like overkill, but we'll likely accept that appointment. Another set of eyes on a slightly larger baby sounds good to Jason and I both.

The rest of the weekend was filled with a nutso yard sale at our house (community yard sale day in Milton) that raked in about $500 for the Dugan family. All of that will likely be spent on taxi rides and other purchases that amount to nothing when Jason and I leave for our few day escape to New York City on Thursday morning. But on a good note, the basement is significantly cleaner now than it was. We started with a garage full and ended with 1/2 of a clothing rack and one half of a table with things on it. Not too shabby for a morning's work. Joshua was a trooper, although he did yell at one or two people for touching his toys that were for sale. That didn't help sales much. He was treated to a new toy for all of his help. He picked out a drum....a real drum with sticks and a strap and everything. So now we have our own little marching drumline in our living room. Lovely.

I'll work on some pictures of the little drummer boy and maybe one from the ultrasound on Friday if I can figure out how to scan something at work. We got a very cute little profile shot that has me smitten already. We thank you for your prayers and well wishes over the last few days. I hope I never have to return the favor for anyone else, but I appreciate your appeals on our behalf.

The past few days...

I've had a rule for myself the past few days. The rule was that I wasn't going to allow myself to get on the Internet and start googling all the things that have been running through my mind. I've made that mistake before. And so, when I'm feeling like I'd like to jump in and peek at some info before this morning, I decided I should blog instead.

On Monday morning, I went to have the blood drawn for our Triple Screen genetic testing. This is the test that sent us into orbit when I was pregnant with Joshua. Many may wonder why I'd do it again after the false positive experience we had that time, but I feel strongly about knowing as much as we can about our baby and what we may be facing. I'm questioning that decision just a bit as I sit here this morning, 5 hours from an appointment with the specialists at Geisinger to determine if our new baby is affected by the same horrible condition that they suspected Joshua to be.

Wednesday afternoon when the phone rang at the office, I just knew who it was. Jessica, a wonderful, compassionate nurse at Dr. Miller's office called to let me know that the results were in much sooner than expected (I KNOW this was a gift from God....you'll see why in a minute). They were positive, showing a 1 in 33 chance of our baby being affected with Trisomy 18. The odds with Joshua were 1 in 31, so I suppose if we're looking for a glimmer of hope here, at least we're moving in the right direction, however so slightly. Jess, knew we'd panic, and immediately called upstairs to the other OB practice in Lewisburg where the ultrasound tech that all of the offices share was working that day. Somehow she convinced him to see me that day. He skipped his supper to do a scan for us in Dr. Miller's office at 6:00.

That scan revealed nothing conclusive either way. He said he saw a very active baby with a strong heartbeat, but that I was too early gestationally to do an anatomy scan. Having been down this road once before, I was a little shocked. The last time, we headed straight to Geisinger and had been amazed with the clarity that their ultrasound provided on this tiny little 5" long person. We watched them measure every bone, organ and muscle in Joshua's body with painstaking detail. And now, Mark said it was too soon. We saw a fuzzy baby who dated right on track for my due date, but no detail that gave any indication one way or the other as to whether they are affected with Trisomy 18.

Dr. Miller said that he would completely support our desires to seek the opinion of Geisinger's doctors if we wished to. We do....for information, for peace of mind, for clarity about what's going on. They were able to get us an appointment for this morning at 11:30 to see the same doctor who gave us the assuring news that Joshua was going to be just fine three years ago.

They'll be looking at all of the markers for Trisomy 18- club feet, clenched fists, brain and heart issues, organ malfunction, polycystic kidneys, and the list goes on and on and on.

I am slightly less panicked than I was when this happened the first time. I know full well that we could be in trouble here, although I've not really let myself dwell too much on that possibility. I wonder if maybe there's just something about my own body that is throwing this test off to the same statistical degree as the last time. And then the doubts creep in and I wonder if we can really be lucky enough to get good news twice. I pray that God's will for this situation is that I'm just royally screwed up and throw something into this blood test that earns us the royal treatment with doctors with 80 degrees behind their names at a world class hospital down the road. I'm scared...petrified really, but we're holding it together on the hope that we've been here before and survived. All it takes is one look at Joshua....the "sick" baby who the genetic counselors advised us to be ready to "make some decisions about".....and we realize that good news is a very honest possibility. I choose to cling to that right now.

I'll share what news we get later today. Your prayers are coveted...for this tiny little person who we love so much that it hurts. Pray for clear pictures, a cooperative baby who holds still enough to get the pictures and measurements that the techs need, and wisdom for the doctors who will be helping us. And a little strength for us wouldn't be a bad thing to add to the list if its not too much to ask.